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i dont know what to do...or whether to just give up.
18/female
ok so i had a typical fan girl crush on a guy two years ago ( with the crush lasting for a year) whose in a band thats becoming huge. i had his posters on my wall etc etc. I had met him a couple of times in that year that i liked him. each of those times i got a not so expected reaction from this guy. Every other fan he came into contact with or talked to, he was smiley and bubbly. then he would get to me and just look me up and down, just staring. wouldnt say a word. then after minutes of just standing there without him even so much as smiling at me he will move onto the next girl happy as can be. Confused and annoyed i eventually gave up when every single time i met him he would do the same, even if i talked to him he wouldnt respond. just stare. so for the next year or so i slowly tore myself away from him and anything that reminded me of him. taking down his posters etc etc. Eventually over that year i matured and my fan girl days were long gone. however for that year, sucessfully over him, i would still dream about him on the odd occasion, and when i did i would deny 100% that i still somewhat had a thing for him.
So the start of this year I went to one of his concerts, and decided to completely ignore him, forget him completely and just pay attention to the other band mates whilst they were onstage playing. However, my sister was keeping an eye on me and mentioned that Andy(the guy) kept staring at me whilst he was playing. Two adults actually commented to me as i was leaving how he was focusing all his attention on me. I then was also showed videos from that concert of him just staring at me. still i chose to push all that too the side and deny that it ever meant anything. As he left that building, as i watched him leave, he just stared at me like he used to, no smile no emotion on his face.
So a couple of months passed and yet i was still having weird dreams and as always i tried to push them to the side, and hide my feelings. Then two weeks ago, they came and played and did a meet and greet. I went along as my friends wanted to give them there bands cd. I arrived first so i went and stood by the bar. i waited in veiw of the steps to wait for my friends. only to look over and see a security guard walk into a door in perfect sight of where i was standing. The band was warming up backstage and once again there was andy, just sitting there at the door staring at me, yet again. I was all dressed up this time cause i was going clubbing afterwards, yet still he was expressionless. This happened a further 3 or so times when the door would open up. and sometimes i wouldnt look just so he didnt think i was purposely there to see him. anyway, this time when he was on stage, he completely ignored me, he knew where i was and i figured it was like a 'test' if he looked at me then i would know that maybe in some bizzare way all those times he just looked and stared at me meant something. Anyway the band stopped playing and we lined up to meet them. My fan girl days are over so i wasnt freaking out. I talked to the other two band members like they were my best mates, wasnt nervous anything like that, in fact one of the other members was hitting on me subtly.
then i get to him, my other two friends were talking to him about something and he commented back to something they said, i added a comment in after him thinking it was funny, he looked straight at me and for the first time actually laughed. My other two friends didnt even notice or pick up what i said but he did. Then They walked off and i looked at andy....he gave me the biggest cheeziest smile i had ever seen. i was so shocked..like after 7 times of meeting him and him not even to briefly smile at me, then all of a sudden there was a massive smile on his face? when only less then an hour before that he was ignoring me or staring at me expressionless.
i couldnt forget that face of his from that smile. so anyways i kept having more and more dreams over these last two weeks about him again. Then i find out that his bands coming back to my hometown to play another gig..I just finally confronted myself and the fact that I DO have feelings for him in some way, and ever since then ive been crying and upset. i really dont understand. Im seeing him again in two days and i just dont know what to think right now.
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I actually think he might have a thing for you as well. Next time you should try harder to talk to him, and if he doesn't talk back, ask him what's wrong with you, nicely though.
But maybe you just remind him of someone he used to know too, his smile probably means that he is just now realizing you are pretty cool as well.
Anyways,
best of luck.
xx
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I know this might be kind of cheesy, (I don't know what band this is) but when you go to their next gig, you should totally make a huge sign with his name on it, and flirt up a storm when he's around you. I think as a fan girl, you're overthinking this issue, and I think he may just be thinking, "Dang, I keep seeing this girl everywhere, but I cannot remember her name, or where I've seen her last, or blah blah," so he's giving you a dumb look everytime. You're a dedicted fan and I know my suggestion sounds like a bit over the top but there's nothing you can lose. He can either hate your guts because you embarrass him, or hate your guts for no reason like you've described. I don't think he dislikes you, or hates you, or anything like that but he seems so emotionless. Maybe he's playing hard to get, since he knows you're at his gigs all the time. Don't give up on chasing him around, it sounds way too fun to give up. Cheer up and have a good time at their show, and don't really think about him like you've been doing.
I am wondering if when you went to his shows and payed more attention to the other band mates if you were more happy and had more fun, if so, just try to do that again but bring a sign with his name on it to spite him, haha! (:
Hope you have fun at his next show, don't give up on being a fangirl, I like your attitude.
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