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We broke up.
17/f and he's 20/m
5 hours ago, we broke up for the first time. I mean, actually break up. I swallowed my pride and went after him asking to give me another chance. He said, he really didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. His reason was because he feels like his personality isn't fit for a relationship. It sucked. He knew I was the type of girl who would not date someone that I dated once. Until I said, "if we were destined to be together, then we'll be together later. Just not now." After I said that, he asked if I actually believed in that. Later on, he said... "I hope I'll come back." He cried outside my window for a while, I couldn't believe it was over. We kissed for the last time, and he said "I really do hope I'll come back. I definitely do not want to fall in love with another girl." He promised me we'll still be friends. He said he still really liked me, he just doesn't know about love, he was wondering what was the definition of love.
I woke up this morning feeling empty. I missed my first class because I just felt so sad. If I left now, I'd still be counted absent. I couldn't help myself, but called him. I told him I missed him, he said he missed me. And that karma already hit him, he said he was miserable and everything. Later on, he told me that hopefully he'll come back, when he grows up. What he means by that is that, he wants to find out what he wants to do and have full confidence in himself.
Then he said, he will come back. After he grows up. Now he's laying down next to me, he came over to be here for me as a "friend". But he's really asleep.
I don't know what exactly is going on in my mind. I have that feeling of full confidence, I know things are going to work out. Or something will him have come back, but yet I'm also doubting myself. I wouldn't know what would happen. I don't want high hopes, and I get hurt again. But yet, I didn't cry as hard as I thought. I felt somewhat relieved but at the same time, I wanted him back.
What is he thinking exactly? Is he really telling the truth? What should I do?
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I think you should possibly listen to your friends advice and give him time. He doesn't seem like a bad guy! I can actually relate to what he's saying.. because I've been in a similar position. He's grown very fond of you and for the so many days/months/years etc you've been together, then you've played a very big role in his life. So ofc, he feels lost.. miserable, upset for hurting you - because he does care about you. Maybe he feels he needs change? a certain kind of change in his life, some people can feel a bit lost after being in a certain routine for a while. Are you his first proper girlfriend prehaps? He does sound very confused and you need to be as understanding as you can. On the other hand, he keeps promising that he'll evetually come back or whatever... but you - in yourself, need to be realistic. You can't keep high hopes, my mum always tells me to expect the unexpected. It always manages to come back around and bite us in the ass hey! when we least expect...
But yeah, I say surround yourself with people that can cheer you up... take up a hobby prehaps? something you've been wanting to do for awhile.. or something you've abandoned, take your mind off things a little. Not completely. Don't worry about anything fading away, feelings and such. If it's true love it won't fade away for either of you :-)
I wish you the best of luck, take care!
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Okay, well it sounds to me like he's confused, really really confused, and has so much going on in his mind. I think that the problem is not in your relationship, and not in you, its in his life, things he feels he has to figure out. Sometimes we feel that we haven't really accomplished anything in our lives, and we feel that our life is such a waste, and we're not really moving, you know, like life is going on, but we're just stuck there in the same place. And even though you might have someone that you really love by your side, which is you, he feels that there is more out there, and more he could do, and not only for himself, but for the both of you, you know. He wants to feel like he's done something,he is something, so he could be enough for you, so he could be fit to commit in a relationship. I think you should just give him time, it's just a phase, and once he has a plan, or a goal or just knows what he's going to do, he'll come back. But for the meantime, you should be there by his side as much as you can, and tell him how much you love him, and you'll wait for him no matter how much time he takes to figure things out, you'll wait.
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