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second question to question #1.. "should i date this person"
Im a 22 year old female..
my question has to do with the question i asked before.. im sorry but im just confused and i dont know who else to ask for advice. so im getting to know a 22 yr. old male who recently got out of a long term relationship due to his ex cheated on him.& he has 3 kids with her. so i took the advice of getting to know him not minding he has kids, cause i started to have feelings for him. he just today told me he had to tell me something that he couldnt text me or call me anymore. because something happen and he had to be there for his family. but that he didnt want me to take it as if he is a bad person. he said he enjoyed the time we spent together and that hopefully we can see each other soon so he can explain everything to me, but for now he had to say bye. i was so confuse & still am. i told him i understand he has to be there for his family. but i dont get it. he is not the type that would try & hurt me intentionally. but i dont know what to think. a few days ago when i was with him. his ex called him. & i could hear her sort of clearly through the phone. she called him "baby" and ask him where he was & with who, he told her so i think it bother her. but he didnt want to talk to her then and told her it wasnt the moment so he hanged up but she kept on calling him. he apologized. and told me had to answer cause his son is sick. but he doesnt like talking much about his ex or that situation in particular.i dont know if to think this has something to do with what happened today. i made up my mind & decided to not look foward to the day he calls me back & "explains everything to me" cause i fear it will never come. im sorry for the very long long story/question. do you guys think i should just forget about him?
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Great advice LiLReBeL6907! Everything she said is exactly right.
Also, that bull crap about, "oh I can't explain it now I need to be there for my family" is ridiculous. You were dating him and damn well deserved an explanation to why he couldn't call you or text you anymore. Just because he has a child and a 'baby mama' doesn't mean you should get the crap end of the stick. That little situation in its self should say a lot. This guy has a lot of issues that he needs to work out....I wouldn't waste my time.
Good luck!
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It sounds like a very complicated situation. I am close in age to you and am currently dating a man with a young child with an ex, so I can relate to this. In the beginning of our relationship we did not talk much about his child or his ex. But I knew there was a long past between them, and through out the 6 years or so that they had known eachother, they had always gone back to eachother after being broken up for a while. I was the first girl he had dated that he had not cheated on and left to go back to her. But in the beginning I could tell that when she would call and try to see where he was at and who he was with, he would lie to her and not be honest. And when we officially began dating and he told her about us, she tried sabotaging it. From my experiences I will say that your initial instincts about him having such a complicated past with children is perfectly understandable. Everyone has ex boyfriends and girlfriends. But having an ex and a child with that person is very complicated because he will always have to be in contact with her to see his children. From everything I have been through and from what you wrote, I think he was very sick of her and tried moving on with you. But it seems that his ex still has a hold on him and he is not quite ready to let go of her and their relationship. He may also have fears of her retaliating against him and not allowing him to see his children. This may be another reason that he may give her a second chance to avoid the drama and confrontations. With that being said, yes, I believe you should go with your intuitions and drop him for good. Whatever his reasons are in the future, if he ever comes clean to you about them, it should make no difference. I do not think he is being fully honest with you. And I do not think he is the type of relationship you are looking to get involved in. You are very young and deserve a change to be in a healthy and honest relationship with a man that knows what he wants, which this man clearly does not. So forget him because I truly feel all he will do is string you and your heart along for a ride you might not be ready for.
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