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Overcoming Shyness ... ?
15/f
Well, I like this guy who's two years older than me, and I'm just really scared to say hi when he walks by in the hallway or something (half the time, he's with his friends... So yeah.) It's not that he doesn't know me. He does. Also, the thing is, I don't have him on msn, but I do have him on Facebook, and I tried to talk to him once and start a conversation, but it kind of died, because not only does he respond late, but it's those "one worded answers" kind. Overall, I don't think he has great replies, but in real life, he's cool and stuff. As much as I want to say hi and attempt to talk to him, because of one fact that keeps holding me back; that he'll think I'm annoying or something. He's definately not those jerky guys who will laugh at you, but I think it's just me that too scared to approach him. Once in the morning, I was in front of a locked door, and I see him, and he just waved, and I waved back and said hi. I honestly don't know why this is so hard for me, because I'm not like this when I'm talking to guys I like, and guys overall. So is there any way or advice on how to approach or say hi, or at least be good friends with him? Agh! I feel so stupid asking this, because I really am NOT, EVER, like this.
Many thanks to any replies! :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
Is it possible for you to share lunch with him? Work on a school assignment together? Invite yourself into his life in some way: "Hey, is it cool if I have lunch with you guys today? I don't want to be a bother but BESTFRIEND isn't here today and I don't really have anyone nice to sit with."
You can always be honest and upfront, "Hey, are you busy this weekend? Because I was thinking it'd be nice to get to know you a little more."
You don't have to run up to him and say something, "OMG! I have a huge crush on you! You are SO cute! OMG I want to date you right now!" :P
Just be cool about it. Remind yourself that the absolute worst thing he can say is, "Uh, no." Even if everyone giggles about it now, in a month's time it'll be OLD news and nobody will even remember it happened, for the most part.
The same thing happened to my friend. She finally found the words to ask for the guy's phone number and he laughed and said no. His buddies made fun of her for, literally, 2 days, and then it was just old news. They moved on. Nobody even remembered it by the end of the year and, honestly, she now doesn't even remember how it all played out.
So, he says no, and what happens? You move on. You move forward. You stand tall, and proud, and be happy that you confronted him and did this. You grow as a person and become more confident about yourself.
He may not be the typing kind of guy. He might hate texting and all of that, as a matter of fact. He may have no idea how to "chat" online, for the most part. Just ditch the idea and go for the phone or face to face.
On the phone, ask non-direct questions. Questions that require more than one word so you can expand on them and develop a conversation.
Rather than saying:
"Do you like hockey?"
you say, "What are your favorite sports?" [answer] "Oh, really? I love hockey, too. What about it do you like most?" [answer] "Awesome. Yeah. Did you see that one game on TV the other day between so-and-so and so-and-so? What did you think when so-and-so did-this?"
Instead of:
"Do you think CLASS is hard or what?"
you say, "What is the hardest class you have right now?" [answer] "Yeah, totally agree with you on that one. What do you think is hardest about it though? I've been trying to pinpoint what I think really sucks and I just can't do it." [answer] "What about when the teacher gives us this-work? I think it's really tough sometimes and I had tedious work like that."
Instead of:
"Do you like me?"
you say, "So, what are you most interested in when it comes to women? I mean, do you go for a specific personality?" or, "What would the perfect woman for you be like?"
Instead of:
"Do you want to go to PLACE to eat?"
you say, "What are your favorite places to eat out at?"
;)
So, I'd totally just go up and to him and, at the very least, ask for his phone number. He'll get the idea. Prompting him to call you by giving him your number might be a bad move right now because if he forgets to call then it's going to be problematic to start things up again. It's fine for girls to ask out guys so try to get closer to him in some way if you're not up to saying, "Free this weekend?"
Start conversations when you can. Ask questions that require more than one word answers and build on what he responds with. Even if it's something you don't know much about you can say, "Well, I don't know too much about that but, you know, I really do like something-that-relates-to-the-initial-question. What about you?"
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