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Is it going to work?
I will try and keep this as short as possible. I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months about 3 months ago now. I do regret it now, we remained friends but things were awkward (understandbly). I was going through a lot at the time and I didn't want to bring my ex down with me, I was constantly stressed and I could see how much it was affecting him. We constantly argued and it didn't feel like a REAL relationship to me so I did what I thought was best.
Ok so i'm in a better place now. I KNOW that I can't click my fingers and get him back, I wouldn't expect that - and I never asked him to wait around for me to be in a better place. We don't speak that often, maybe 3 times a week. I told my ex I wanted to give the relationship another try if he was interested. I totally understand that he wanted to think it through and I have been very patient with him. Although I have been chasing, telling him how I feel about him, talking about the good times and he even kissed me. This has been going on for over a month now and basically I don't text/call/email him what so ever anymore, I stopped chasing to see whether he'd actually notice. My friend said he's been loving the fact he's always had me "there" and maybe he will realise now, sometimes it takes months but she thinks he will realise. What do you think?
I'm not setting up all of my hopes on this, i'm a realistic person I just thought i'd like to see other people's opinions on it. For example, have you ever stopped chasing and it's made a guy realise?
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I think stopping chasing him a great idea.
You've done everything you can to tell him where you stand. Now is the right time to stop.
However, I think you owe him the respect and honesty, to tell him that is what you doing.
There are many ways he might interpret your sudden withdrawal if you don't explain your thinking behind it...
He might assume you are no longer interested.
He might think you've met someone else.
He might think you weren't that serious.
He might think he missed his chance.
Most guys would talk themselves out of contacting you based on their own fears and insecurities, if you behaved like you've described here, and then just stopped.
He might realize he misses you, but if you don’t tell him why you are stopping, he will also assume you are gone for good and is very, very unlikely to have the balls to contact you.
So, in order for this to work, you absolutely have to tell him why you are doing what you are doing. If you don't, it's exceedingly unlikely that he will turn around and chase you.
Telling someone why you are doing what you are doing, is the difference between playing games and playing hard to get (which doesn’t work) and being honest about what you want and need (which sometimes does).
So tell him, quickly and simply, that you still want him back. You still want to try again. But that you’ve now put all the energy and work into convincing him that you are capable of. If he wants you in his life, he needs to tell you so. If he doesn’t, that’s okay, and you’ll use the time apart to get over it, and begin to move on.
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