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Confused! Does He Actually Like Me?
Hello,
My boyfriend and I both decided to end our relationship about 4/5 weeks ago. It was a mutual decision, but we'd been discussing for a month or so. To begin with it was my idea, but towards the end it was more of his idea.
Any way, I chose not to stay friends with him because I thought it would be too hard. He wasn't happy about this, but I told him maybe we can be friends in the future.
During this time, we obviously didn't speak to eachother and I really missed him. It made me realise actually how perfect he is, he has done so much for me. I spoke to him about this, I told him I still loved him, missed him etc. He said that he really loved me, and he missed me but he was hurting so much after our break up that he never wants to go through it again. (Hense why he wouldn't want to get back together) He said it hurt a lot during the month when we were considering breaking up and he didn't want the same thing to happen again. I told him i'd give him time to think about it, but I did want to get back together. He has told me, and my best friend that he does want to get back together, he's just worried the same thing could happen again.
Since then, I haven't text him. Although he has text me. Usually making up reasons to talk to me. We were both due to attend a weekend festival in 2 weeks time with a bunch of friends, and he text me asking if i'd booked accommodation etc, and said he'd do it for me if I was busy with college etc. He still calls me "baby" and he never did this after we broke up to begin with, it's only been recently. I did ask him what was going on and whether he wanted to get back together or was he just leading me on? He said I do still love you, and I want to be with you more than anything...It's just so hard to decide because of the hurt, I don't want to go through this again in a month's time. I've reassured him that this won't happen on my part.
I'm quite stuck on what to do next, how long do you wait for someone who says they want to be with you? I've said to him, if you don't want to get back together you can just say so now so that we don't need to keep dragging the situation out. But he keeps just saying he doesn't know.
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I think your ex is telling the truth and he really is very confused. Which as a result is making you really confused. One minute you guys are broke up and he doesn't hear from you for a long period of time (which is fine and perfectly normal), then all of a sudden you want to get back together. It's obvious that he still really likes you and cares about you a lot, the poor guy just doesn't want to get hurt.
Break ups can make people realize a lot of things, but take a step back and try to look at the situation from a different perspective. Can you really say for sure that the same thing won't happen again within a few months? Despite everything you are feeling now, there was a reason why you guys split in the first place. If he decides to get back together with you feeling unsure, well...that's just a recipe for all sorts of disaster.
If you really feel that things could be different this time around give him time to really think about it. State your case to him once more and let him know that you want to give him plenty of time to make a decision. Suggest that the two of you cut off all contact until he is sure about what he wants to do. Explain the reason behind cutting off contact is so not to confuse him so he will be able to really think about things with out a distraction. ASSURE him that it is not because you don't want to talk to him, but because you want to get to the bottom of things. You don't like the confusion in this situation anymore than he does. Tell him to take his time and to let you know when he is sure of what he wants.
If this doesn't work and things continue as they are, it may be best for the both of you just to move on.
Good luck!
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