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How do I cope?
In October, I will have known this guy for four years. We were always really good friends, I thought. It seemed like we were always spending time with each other and able to talk about things. He would have girlfriends and I would date other people as well. I've only had sex with one guy my whole 20 years of living, this guy knew that. We finally decided to try to date this year. At first things were a little rocky. Neither one of us knew how to act, I think. Eventually things started getting better. After a few months, and being friends for basically four years, we started messing around (everything except sex). He was a completely different person; he was calling me every night. He was telling me how lucky he was to have me, and how happy he was. He said when we did stuff it was amazing. We were even hanging out and wouldn’t do anything physical, we'd just watch a movie or play video games or something together. Then, I decided to sleep with him. Two days after we did, he was still the sweet caring guy that called every night. He even brought me soup because I had a little cold. After the two days though, he just sort of disappeared. I was so hurt and didn't know what went wrong. Then I told him I wasn't happy. He text me back and asked me to go over to his place. We talked and I told him how hurt I was. He said he was really sorry and didn't mean to make me feel like that. He said his Mom lost her job and is really struggling and his grandma was in the hospital. We talked for hours and I thought everything was worked out. When I sounded like I wanted to stop dating he even got watery eyes. We slept together twice that night. I finally had to leave but he was extremely distant before I even started getting dressed. He's text me once a day since it happened all he has told me is "it wasn't bad" and “how was your meet?” (I’m a swimmer) but nothing more than that after I’d answer him. Unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not an idiot, and I realize a user when I come across one, this time I was a little too late, but I know he will probably never talked to me again. I'm aware he pretty much just got what he wanted and said those nice things to get in my pants. I realized the using part a little too late, but I'm not in denial. My question is how does one deal with this? He was the second guy I've ever slept with, and I'm really disappointed because I thought after knowing each other for so many years he wouldn't do this to me. I'm heartbroken. How do adults get through things like this? How do I deal when I run into him at school? I mean it's a big university, but I know we're going to have run ins just with the way our schedules are this semester. Can anyone please give me advice to cope with this? I'd really appreciate it.
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Awww.. that really sucks. Well, I think the best thing you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned and try not feel embarrassed. Whenever you see him and you start to feel ashamed, remind yourself that HE is the one who should be embarrassed. You're the good one in all of this. Unfortunately, the only thing that cures heartache is time, but I promise you the time WILL come where this won't hurt so much. In the meantime, try to keep yourself busy with other things, friends, activities, and when you do have to see him, be polite and friendly but don't engage him in any meaningful conversation. He used you. Don't let him do it again. Just treat him like you would any classmate and then go on living your life. The best revenge is living a good life. You can do this! And I promise, in the end, you will be fine, and even a better person for having gone through this.
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