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my boyfriend is stressing me out
Ok, so this will be pretty long. (sorry). I am 17 and my boyfriend is almost eighteen. We have been together for almost three years straight, and we have had our ups and downs. I understand in relationships everyone argues but when we argue its brutal. We have discussed things we need to work on, mine for instance is not to get an attitude so much and not to yell but to speak calmly. So everytime we argue I dont do those things and I make sure not to at all. But its not good enough. No matter how quiet or nicely I talk its like we still argue just as bad, if not worse. Whenever we argue its like its always my fault, and he makes sure I know he feels that way every second of the argument. It's like he tells me every single thing I do wrong, but when I even hint to him doing one thing wrong he either twists it to me causing it somehow, or he says im fussing at him. I mean the arguments never ever get physical by no means, not even close, but its just like me fixing things in order to make our relationship better just is not good enough. But I mean another thing we argue about is him going out with his friends. Like whenever we hang out all he wants to do is sit at the house, but when hes with his friends he is always going out to eat, or going out sitting outside of "wal mart.?" But when I ask him to go somewhere he says he does not feel like it. I try talking to him about it but all he says is he cant help it if he dont feel like going anywhere and for me to stop bugging him so much. He says he is happy just staying at home with me because I am fun no matter what we do. But he says he gets bored with his friends so he has to go somewhere. I mean, I know I have made it seem like we argue 24/7 but we rarely argue. Its just when we do its horrible. It never gets better at all until I cry. When we are not arguing its wonderful, and we get along so great. We are like best friends. I just want to know what to do that could make our arguing better, because it needs help bad. Please, no answers saying to break up, or we arent meant to be because that is most certainly not right. We have grown up together since we were born, and we have been best friends for years before we started dating. We have our ups and downs but we truly love each other. Just please help with what to do about the arguing, I need some help fast. Thanks so much in advance.
--Taylor
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If he's going to make you feel like that then he's not worth it. You should have more self respect for yourself. Maybe you guys need to sit down and tell each other how you really feel and find a way to resolve all your problems.
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did it ever occur to you ti may be a power trip for him, to make you cry? All i really get from this is how you are always tyo blame, you are the one made to feel awful...it takes two my dear. It's about mutual respct; love is gentle and kind; love forgives and moves on...apparently, unless i am missing something, there is not much love, patience or forgivness here...
my best, honest adivce is this: take a break from each other for awhile...seriously; it is not doing either one of you any good to be beating each other up verally and emoitonally. That is not healthy at all...
hope this helps and good luck. Maybe u deserve better and just don't know it...
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Wow , well I think that is not fair how he is blaming it on you always , he is the guy he should put some effort in. I would say make yourself cry the next time you argue and grab in that moment and tell him everything , all what you just said in there , or sit down and talk with him. With aruging , it is a good thing you guys do , it strengthens your relationship , and that is most important , if you want to go out with him places make him , show him , or make him jealous so he is not that lazy. If you are fun no matter what then tell him to go somewhere with you. My advice to you , is do not let this get to you , to get your aruging better . This might help you [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) , or [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) . Hopefully this one works [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) . The key to a relationship is fighting , it is healthy . No need to sweat.
Good luck girl : )
- Try to stay positive with him.
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