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Did I mess everything up with him?
so i am a 13 year old female. i have been talking to this older guy (16). we flirt a lot. i thought that he liked me but then when he asked me if i liked him and i said i dont know. he told me that he didnt really know either. now things are a bit weird. did i mess things up by saying that i dont know when i kinda do.
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You previously asked a question about this guy, too.
I refrained from answering it, hoping that someone would answer it and give you a clear message as to what was going on there. I looked back and saw a wonderful, blunt answer.
The truth is:
He does not like you.
You didn't do anything wrong. He's 16. He's horny. His hormones are driving him. He's looking for a little no-strings-attached "fun" in some way. That's why he's 100% fine with you flirting but is a little standoffish when you approach him about more (ie: "Do you like me more than as a friend?")
Sure, he might continue talking to you so that you two can keep the sexual-tone of the "relationship" going but you won't ever be someone special to him.
He's giving you the not-clear answer in hopes that you stick around to continue giving him some sort of sexual amusement. He knows if he says, "No, not really..." that you might cut-off communication and won't text sexually to him any more.
When you give off the impression that you're a sexual creature then guys assume that you're easy. You might be saying, "No, I don't do that sort of thing..." in person but online or through the cell phone you are screaming, "Yes! Please!" It gives off the impression that you're easy and fairly desperate. It's very disrespectful of yourself even.
He thinks you're easy. That if he keeps you around that he'll somehow get into your pants. 99% of the time this seems to be true for all women. You talk the talk and, eventually, you just start walking the walk.
You're talking the talk. He's sticking around because he is pretty sure you'll soon be walking the walk.
He thinks he's getting laid soon if you two keep talking. Of course he isn't going to be straightforward and honest about not liking you. He thinks he might actually have a good chance of deflowering you, popping your cherry, or just getting down and dirty.
Maybe he feels a little weird leading you on. He might feel a bit guilty because he has led you to think he's interested so that you two could continue a sextual conversation. He has led you on so that he can, hopefully, get into your pants. Guys do have brains so it's possible he felt a little bad for a moment. This feeling usually passes and they usually get back into their hormone-driven routine again. Don't let it fool you.
If he really, honestly liked you then he would have said, "Yes." There is absolutely no reason in the world for him to not tell you that he has feelings for you. He just doesn't have them. That's why he gave you that answer.
He may have asked if you really liked him so he knew if he still had a chance to get into your pants. You said you weren't sure and, since he doesn't like you, the only other options to say back were: "Yes," as a lie, "I don't know," as a half-truth, or "No," which would absolutely demolish every chance he had at bedding you. Most guys aren't going to say, "No, I don't really like you..." when they want sex.
Please, move on now. Save yourself the heartache. Don't let yourself get hurt. Get away from this guy now and find someone who isn't after sex.
It is not you.
It's him.
All him.
Move on now while you can.
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No you didn't the boy I like never says yes he always says I don't know don't worry he's mature enough to realize that i don't kno usually means yes and he probablly thinks you need time to think :3 That's not enough to mess something up, I know it sometimes seem like forever but in time...
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