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Marriage: Husband just doesn't help with anything and I want to leave!
I have been married one year. My husband doesnt work and doesnt look for a job. Ever since we have gotten together I have noticed a huge change in my 3 year old sons behavior. he doesnt listen to anyone he acts up a lot. yells at everyone. My husband doesnt help me with the kids, house work anything. I am only 19 years old. I have two children. I am orignally from ohio but i moved to missouri two years ago with my father. I have no family here other than my father. I want to move back to ohio. but dont want to leave my father. I have been trying yo get my husband to help and look for a job since october. everytime i talk to him about it he helps for a day or so and then everything goes back to the way it was. I am miserable and feel my son deserves better. Sometimes i feel guilty that i plan on leaving my husband any advice??
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in a nut shell; i was moved by your note/question. You are nineteen and lost and you probably feel you are drownding....yes?
In short, no one changes unless they want to change, and no ammount of coaxing, pressuring, yelling or making love is going to change that fact...
you need to focus your concern on your children' they are your top priority, period. The reason the boy acts up is most likely due to lack of attention from 'dad', so he acts out to be heard and seen...this will pass i promise. However, your woes over hubby will not...
there is a recession on i realize that, and depending on what kind of back ground/education/training he has had may factor in to his dilemia....
how does he feel about the millitary? seriously. It would help him to provide for his wife and children, both, all of which are his responsibility...
please feel free to contact me for more help; as i said, i was moved by your note and truly want to help, no strings or b.s. attatched...
ok...just revcieved ur reply, thanks...u may want to jump ship. he is not seeing the big picture is he? a few months for a life time of supporting his wife and kids??? i feel for u and want to help...take care
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Stop feeling guilty and start making a plan.
You are only nineteen years old and you have children to worry about. Their lives and health (and your own) need to take precedent over any responsibility you have to your father. You need to seek out the living arrangements that help you be the best mom you can be.
If your husband has been jobless since October, and isn't making enough effort in your eyes to change that fact AND hasn't been pulling his weight at home, you have plenty sufficient reasons to decide the situation isn't working out for you.
The important thing, if you've decided to leave, is to make sure you have a plan that make things as smooth and safe as possible for you and your kids.
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