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breakup drama.
18/female.
I dated Rob for a year and we were inseparable. Our one year was a little over a week ago. That day, he said "I love you" to me for the 1st time. I said it back, because when he said it to me, it felt right. I even cried because I was so happy that we had finally said it to each other.
A day after our one year, I spent a week on vacation at a beach resort that I go to every year with my family. Since it is relatively close to where we live, Rob came up to visit me while I was on vacation. Things were good when he was there, and when he had to go home, I missed him.
After he left, I still had a few days left in my vacation. It's kind of an weird situation, but my parents recently got divorced, and my dad invited a lady that he'd met to come and spend a day at our vacation home. It was the first time I'd met her and her three kids. She has a son named Vic and he had a friend with him named Ben. They are two years younger than me, but they act and look like they are the same age as me.
I was immediately drawn to Ben. He was not only physically attractive, but I felt like I could really connect with him. He was extremely kind and respectful to me, and really made an impression on me that is not going away. Even though I only spent time with him for one day, I feel as though he "gets" me, and that is a rare feeling.
When I got home from vacation, things didn't feel right with Rob. We didn't have much to talk about, and we got in an argument. I ended up spilling my guts about how I was feeling bad about saying "i love you," and we sat in silence for a while. After that, we talked for a long time about our relationship.
We decided to stay together that night, but the next morning I woke up to tons of lovey-dovey texts from him. It really turned me off for some reason. I didn't want to even think about him. After he noticed I was acting weird, he said that we should talk later.
We did, and we broke up. It was mutual, because he said that he felt weird when he said "I love you" to me too. We both cried and kissed for one last time. I really care for him, and it still hasn't sunk in that we broke up yet.
I sort of think that I always knew that I didn't have "true love" with Rob. I guess I just needed to realize that there are other guys out there that "get" me, and there are other guys out there that I'm compatible with that I'm also attracted to. Ben isn't the reason we broke up, but it contributed.
While we dated, I felt smothered. I was constantly in communication with Rob, texting and calling each other all day every day. We were always together and always knew what the other was up to. It was terrible for me, because I like to be independent. We have been broken up for two days, and I feel very free, but I also feel crushed at times.
Now, things are awkward with Rob. We both work at the same fast food restaurant, and today I had the night shift. He wasn't working, but he came in with a bunch of people that he knows I'm not fond of. It was pretty dead, so everyone else that was working was talking and laughing with Rob. I felt sick to my stomach, and I was nearly in tears.
During this, Rob was being really friendly to me, and he asked me for a hug, so I hugged him. When I got home from work, I found out that he tried to make plans with my sister to hang out with him and the people he was with. I was so upset that I cried my eyes out because he knows about my relationship with my sister and how much I resent her because I feel like all of my old friends replaced me with her once I drifted apart from them.
I am so confused. I know that I don't want to be with Rob, but it hurts so bad seeing him. I am so angry at him, and the worst part is that he appears to be fine.
I'm also confused about Ben, too. But I don't even want to think about that, because I feel too guilty for even thinking about another guy while I had a boyfriend.
Help!!!!:(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Something my mom told me a while back was: People come in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. According to this story I believe Rob was in your life for a reason. You figured out what you wanted in a relationship (not to be too clingy, etc.) Now, you should be happy that you got to spend a great time with him, but it's time to move on. I'm not advising you to get with Ben right away, but become his friend. After time apart from Rob, you and him can talk about your friendship, and how your relationship is now going to be. Don't bring yourself down. You had a great time with him, and even though it's over, you learned a lot from the time you two spent together. And who knows, maybe Ben is your season.
Hope I helped,
xx D
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There are more guys out there. Everything horrible that happens hurts at first, but if given enough time, you'll recover.
The first thing you should do is realize that it's extremeley rude of him to pretty much rub in your face that he's going to hang out with your sister. If he really cared about you, he'd be mature and be sensative to your feelings. Guys aren't very emotional, but honestly, if a guy really does love you he'll show it. And since he's not, I'd say it's time to move on.
The first thing I think you should do is look for another job. Once you separate yourself from him it'll become alot easier for you to move on from this whole situation. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. Just focus on you and live your life according to you; the way YOU want to live it. Don't worry about him, or his idiotic friends. Find comfort in knowing that things get better with time, and eventually you will find a guy who will be more than happy to treat you with the respect you deserve.
Never let yourself, or other people, make you believe you don't deserve what you truly want. And if what you want is a great guy, wait for him. You guys will find eachother in due time when both of you are ready.
Things you experience in life mold and create who you are as a person; it changes your character. You either grow closer, or further apart from the people in your life.
Whenever you meet "the one" you'll be right for eachother beacause you will have gone through things that have ultimately made you compatible with one another.
I hope that made sense, and that it helped you.
I'm also sorry if it's not quite what you wanted to hear, but I just don't want other women to feel completely hopeless all because of a guy.
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