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A nineteen-year-old girl confused.
Hello, my name is Avalon Hendricks and I am nineteen years old. About a month ago, I visited a dating website and I came across a beautiful girl. I was never attracted to females nor did I ever doubt my sexuality. We have not met yet, since I am leaving to college in a week, I will have to meet her when I come back home.
I lost my mother when I was sixteen years old. She died at a very young age. When I was less then a year old, she left her children and decided drugs were way too important.
Growing up, I always looked up to olderly women, my teachers etc. I was craving for a mother figure, someone that can give me motherly advice and be there for me. Now, I am really interested in this girl. She is 23 and she is very unique. I have been trying to get to know her through text messaging but it is like pulling teeth to get her to open up to me. I am falling head over heals for her. I need some help. I don't know if I am really a lesbian, or I am in search for a mother figure in my life?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You're wiser than your age if you already know that there could be another dimension to your relationship with this Unique woman. Feeling a different kind of love for her isn't unusual, since you crave a mother, and loving 'mothers' as you do, you question your sexual preferences. First you'd better look at how things were when your mother died, how you felt about her and whether she had a good or bad influence on you; regardless, it's hard as hell.
If you're over-texting her, then try to back off and give yourself some space to open up to lots of women who are older and who you could consider 'motherlike'. It's a great feeling. I'll be your mother- my kids are 18 and 19. I'm still 17. But! A good mother!
Take some time to make the space in your head and your heart to figure out at least A LITTLE bit about yourself; something you have to do alone. Pain has a way of forcing you to learn and learn and learn.
Let things happen in their own time; don't crowd time.
You'll be okay; you sound fine, and whatever you discover about yourself IS PERFECTLY FINE.
Hang in, honey
rhona xx
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Hi, Avalon!
Basically, you have lived almost all of your life wihtout a mother. That will have a whole lot to influence on anyone. Not having a parent, is serious, but for a daughter, not having a mom is major, no matter how wonderful your father was.
So, here you are, a young adult with this huge craving, 18 years worth of craving, to have a mother. That leaves you very susceptable. Anything that looks, feels, smells or hints of "Mother love" will attract you.
Add to that your growing sexuality, the inherent beauty of a woman's body, you are a powder keg just waiting to be ignited.
Take your sweet time, and college will make that easy to do this. At college there is probably counseling for free or a little, I suggest you seek some help here and talk about all of this, once you have found a counselor you are comfortable with.
The loss or lack of a mother can awaken homosexual interests in women. I know a woman who started to have lesbian dreams upon the death of her mothe. She was quite troubled by them until it was explained to her that this was not uncommon.
You don't need to mack a decision about your sexuality anytime soon. You are still very young and a whole lot of life awaits!
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I dont think you are lebo, I simply think that your are looking for a motherly figure in your life and that is very normal, I never had a father but i always craved older men, looking to fulfil that empty area. Just think about it before you just jump out there. Good luck!!!
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