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My boyfriend was raped.
My boyfriend recently confided in me that he was raped by a 17yr old boy when he was just 4 years old.
Now I understand why he relies on pot to "help him" through his life.
It makes me so sad. He cannot get a job because he is illegal (not his fault). He cannot afford therapy. I am really worried about him....I want to be there for him and help him. Any suggestions? please..
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Hi...I am sorry to hear this happened to your boyfriend as a child. It's horrible.
However, relying on pot to get through life, as you put it, is simply and excuse that he is using in order to bury his feelings about what happened to him and avoid dealing with it.
You need to stop feeling sorry for him and help him realize that this isn't going to go away on its own. What you call understanding, I call codependence and you need to stop doing that before you find yourself in a postition of needing help yourself.
He may not be able to afford therapy but he can go to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or NA (Narcotics Anonymous) for free and they are everywhere. There he can find some help, a sponser, and the will to man up and realize that sometimes bad things happen to good people, but self medicating is not the solution.
Is he under age? I would normally suggest checking with Social Service who offer therapy for those who are uninsured but his status as a illegal may not support that.
As for you, you need to pick up a copy of the book, Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie and read it. If affordability is an issue for you, go to your local library and pick up a copy for free. You need to understand that you cannot fix this. It's up to him to seek help and if he doesn't, he will only bring you down.
Good luck,
Jada
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I never been raped before, but I think in a situation like that its best to have God in your life God put you in his life for a reason so that you can help him, Its so sad and unfortunate that people can do stuff and get away with it . I know that your boyfriend is prob/ being tormented with that situation , sometimes it helps to talk about the situation just to get it out. I would find things to do to occupy my mind like going to the gym , bowling you no just something fun and encourage him . I do know having god in your life helps you keep your cool and even forgive the person that done him wrong. stAy encouraged and hang in there. :Sorry about the typo my delete button doesnt work:
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