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military man
I'll try to make this as short and straight forward as possible. Basically there is a guy that I have known for a while now. He is in the marines and currently stationed no where near to where I am living now. Before he left, the possibility of starting a relationship had been discussed. I drove 18 hours in one day just to see him for the weekend. And after all that as well as other attempts to show him that I am serious and committed he basically said that he was sorry because he couldn't give me what I wanted..a relationship. He said that he wouldn't be able to spend time with me and therefore the relationship wouldn't be equal on both our parts. But then again he has also said that I can find someone better than him. Does this sound like a guy that wants to keep me around but doesn't want to make a committment? Or does this sound like a guy who truly does care but doesn't feel that he can have a healthy relationship right now? Should I just quit now while I'm ahead or just hope for something good to happen in the future? Is it worth it?
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It's one thing when you're with a guy for a while, then he joins the military. You've already got a base for a relationship, and that gives you a certain degree of commitment.
With a relationship like the one you're talking about, it requires diving into a lot of commitment right away. It means a lot of trust and a lot of time and effort, right off the bat.
If you haven't been together for very long, he may be uncomfortable with the idea of you putting so much of yourself into such a new relationship. That level of commitment on your end means that he feels a need to reciprocate.
Your best bet would be to back down a little bit and gauge where things are. Communicate through e-mails or letters. Develop your relationship a little before diving head first into a serious one. It will help him to feel more comfortable, and you to feel less neglected.
Relationships with military guys are always difficult. That you're willing to wait for him and to put your life on hold should speak volumes to him. Stick it out, but from a bit more of a distance, and see where it ends up.
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This sounds like a man who may think you're a lovely person and a good catch, but not HIS catch. Basically, he doesn't think you're the one.
If he did, he'd see driving to see you, be the one making the efforts and you would be in no doubt of his feelings. It sounds like he's trying to break things off with you as kindly and gently as he can. Obviously he cares enough for your feelings to want to avoid hurting you, but does not care enough to want you for his girlfriend.
When men meet The One, or someone they think could be The One, they will do whatever it takes. This marine is not into you.
Thank your lucky stars too. You're free to find the right man, and one who is local, one who will call you and meet you and make all the effort you would expect from a man who's falling in love. Don't trick yourself into settling for less from someone who isn't interested. Let this guy go.
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