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My dad is a cheater, we have no relationship.
Im 18, going to college in a month. My brother is already away at college, my parents have been married for 25 years. i know my dad is cheating. I have told my brother, but i havent told my mom because there is a very strong sense in me that my dad will kill himself or hurt himself if someone were to find out.. which happened to my best friends dad. It doesnt matter what other people say, in my head im 150% that it'd happen. because i know hes cheating and have to watch him lie to me and my mom every day, i have no trust from him. Our relationship was great before, we were with together every day. now, were never together unless its a family function, and we dont even talk. i know hes lying to me, and everytime he does i wanna snap on him and just scream out all my anger and hurt but i cant. It kills my heart deeply that im going away to college with no relationship with my dad.. i look foward to events like getting married, and him walking me down the isle and all that... and i dont see it, because were not even close at all. My mom doesnt know or sense anything cause she works nights, and me and my dad are never home during the day. ive gone to counseling.. and still there never found a solution so i stopped going.
I really need help. My trust for everyone in my life is gone, and i dont wanna lose something so important, my family or my relationship with my dad. Its the worst feeling in the world..
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i'm so sorry. maybe you can try talking to your brother more? This situation is a difficult one.
I would say talk to your dad privately and tell him you stil love him and don't want him to do anything ..but talk with him.
sit him down quietly, alone and ask if he has ever done anything.
make sure he knows you still love him and care about him.
the only reason why he would hurt himself is because he thinks nobody loves him or cares about him. he'll be embarrassed...but make sure you talk to him in a mature matter.
I hope everything works out and i'm so sorry
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if it makes you feel better im in a simalar situation. minus the cheating.
i would tell him that you know.. and make it clear that you will not be part of his lie. meaning that he should stop or things could get ugly. and use that as an empty threat. he may not know what that "ugly situation" must be. but because he caused it he will think the worst. and it should encourage him to stop. maybe it could strengthen your bond between each other again. i know its a negtive impact but maybe it could be an exersize to build some trust.for you towards your dad. and your dad to build towards you. and he stops cheating. so more trust for the whole family really
on a finalnote. i strongly recommend talking to your brother. ask him for help. i dont know your family. you know them the best then any of use adivce nators. ask your brother for some adivce to. maybe send him the link to your question
goodluck
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Hey,
I know this has got to be a really tough situation for you. A close friend of mine suspected the same thing of his father not long ago, and came to me for advice. Like I told him, you can't let what happens between your parents damage your relationship with them individually. Your mom may already sense what you sense for herself. You have to remember, your parents are a couple. Just like you and your significant other might, they'll have issues in their relationship (marriage) that they'll have to work out together, for themselves. Your dad is still your dad, and I'm sure he loves you very much. You said the two of you used to be very close, so I'm sure he's a good father. Don't let your relationship with your dad wither away just because he makes mistakes. He's a man, he's a human. Also, don't distance yourself from other potentially productive relationships just because of this situation. Everybody is not the same. Just learn from his mistakes and work on re-buliding you guys' relationship as father and daughter. Hope I helped =)
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