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Guys, roofies, and rape
18/F
I've started dating this guy I had been crushing on forever recently, and we've been on like 7 dates, he's smart, funny, kinda odd but in a good way, and a perfect gentleman. The problem is even though I really want to make love to him, but he won't. The reason he told why I am not sure if it's even possible, or if it is if I need to report it, etc. He said he hasn't been interested in sex since a girl he knew gave him roofies and then had sex with him. She told her best chick friend that she had done so because he "didn't deserve to remember having sex with her". That really upset her best chick friend, who then told him what the girl said because it upset her so much. (he had nearly died from overdosing on alcohol and drugs the night this girl was his DD, and the roofies had shown up on the drug test the hospital did even though he didn't recall taking them.) Is it even possible for a girl to use roofies like that on a dude? If so, does that mean she raped him, and does that mean it needs to be reported?
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
I did some research on “ROOFIES”: This is a date rape drug similar to GBH though stronger and more dangerous. It is a sedative, muscle relaxant drug that can cause memory loss.
Is it possible that your male friend was raped while under the influence of this drug? I would say probably but not in the manner that he was able to perform sexual intercourse. I do not think he was capable of getting and maintaining an erection, which does not mean other sexual acts, could not be performed on him without his consent. The fact that he had ROOFIES in his system and is noted in his medical records says he was not capable of consenting, therefore he was raped. The operative word is consent; sex without consent of either party is the definition of rape.
I suggest you encourage your friend to view the RAINN Website: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National, Network [Link](Mouse over link to see full location), as well as to call their hotline 1 800-656-HOPE. The counselors who staff the hotline will help find trained councilors in your area to help your friend. Just like a women who has been raped he is trying to deal with a violation of his person. He needs the support of his family and friends as well as the advice and support of trained rape counselors to get through this. While rape of a male does happen it is reported far less than rape of a female.
As for making a Police report; my thoughts are you should. The young lady that did this was very wrong, criminally wrong. By reporting what happened to the police and allowing the criminal process to proceed he will prevent this from happening to someone else and possibly save that person’s life. I understand it is an embarrassment to get up on a witness stand and announce to the world he allowed a woman to rape him. Fact is he didn’t allow it to happen; he was drugged, a crime in itself, and then raped. Fact is the case will probably never get to Court. Based on what little you said her lawyer will probably plead the case out. Even if it does go to Court with the support of friends and family, the support of his therapist he will be able to get through it and the young lady will pay the price sending a message to other young ladies who think as she does.
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