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am I mental? Do I need to be alone?
I've only in been in three serious relationships in my life. and I've never been single between the relationships. I have a feeling that something is wrong with me because I always pick the same guy..well the same type. but my question is. is something wrong with me? do I need to just "take a break?" for me? (however I hate to be alone!) but see now the circumstances just got more complicated..i'm pregnant and i'm in the realtionship with the father for a year and a half.but he talks to other girls, and I caught him cheating once..but he's not all bad or I wouldn't have stayed with him. Like everyone he has a heart and a hard past..and he needs love too. I love him.. so what should I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The fact that you even ask the question makes me think you already know you have a problem. You've even recognized that you pick the same guy over and over. I am a big believer in women's intuition and I think we don't listen to it enough. Your intuition is telling you that you are not in a healthy relationship. You said "he needs love too". Well so do YOU! What about you and what you need? You need a partner who is committed to you and your baby.. for life. Someone who puts your needs before his and who supports your dreams and goals. That man is out there, you just haven't found him yet. Being pregnant complicates things, but think about your baby. What would he/she learn about relationships and life from you? How will what you do shape how they treat the opposite sex, and themselves? Its time to do the hard things. You're becoming a parent, so its not all about you anymore. Its time to think long and hard about what YOU want out of life, and how you can get it. Its time to think about what you deserve, what your baby deserves. As far as your patterns in relationship, it seems obvious that you do have a problem. Many young women who have grown up without fathers tend to choose men who seem like they will fill some of the "fatherly" needs that have been missing. They also choose men who ulitmately will abandon them, emotionally or physically or both, like their own fathers. Do you have a relationship with your father? If not, this is a HUGE factor in your need to always be in a relationship. If you can afford it, seek therapy or counseling to get to the bottom of this. It will help SOOOO much. I can speak from experience. You can start by asking your doctor about referrals to therapists. If you can't afford it, do an internet search on free local counseling programs in your area, including counseling programs for unwed mothers. Many community centers offer these services at low or no cost. When you figure out what need it is you are trying to fill by constantly choosing the wrong guy, you will feel so free, and you'll find that you start to attract more positive people. Good luck to you. I hope you find what you are looking for someday. Until then, remember that the road to the good life is full of hard decisions. Don't be afraid to make those hard choices. You can do it.
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