|
Trying to tell my grandma I believe in God but not religion
I am a 23 year old female and I live in a different state than my grandmother. We talk on the phone but there are certain things I choose to not tell her because it would be a hassle. She is coming to visit me soon and told me over the phone all the things she wants us to do. One is go to church. I don't believe in church or religion. I believe in God but I feel religion separates people and it shuns certain types of people. I'm very close with two of my cousins who are gay and I cannot support a religion that doesn't support them. My grandmother is a Christian and very religious. How do I tell her I don't go to church and refuse to go?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
In your position, I'd just take my grandma to church.
I'm an atheist myself, so I understand exactly where you are coming from, however, if your grandmother was visiting you and wanted to go to a vegetarian restaurant, you'd take her right? Or, flip it a bit, if she wanted to have a hamburger but you thought eating meat was wrong, you wouldn't bully her about it right? Or force her to try a veggie burger if she weren't comfortable? You'd still sit down at a restaurant and eat your salad and have a meal with her, 'cause she's your fricking grandma.
Treat church as the same sort of thing. Be honest with your grandma about it not being something you'd normally do, and let her know gently why. You certainly don't need to lie, but I honestly believe (as someone who doesn't believe in religion or God, at all) that taking your grandmother to church does not need to be a slight against your principals, but just a nice thing to do to show respect to your grandmother and her values.
You don't have to support the institution. You don't have to give them money. All you are doing is honouring a request from an beloved elder.
Most people at churches are very nice. No one is going to scream faggot or start spewing hate. If they do, you have a chance to correct them and walk away.
If you feel you need to refuse outright, simply be as nice as you can about it. Your grandmother grew up in a different world then you did, and the best thing you can do is accept any venom or silliness she throws your way gracefully. Reason and debate aren't your shields here, forgiveness and respect are what will help her make peace with your choice.
]
More Questions: |