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My boyfriend and I
Im 20 and so is my boyfriend, we have been going out for a year and 5 months. Well in the beginning everything was great but about 5 months into the relationship he would say things about girls in the street like "Oh id fuck her" or "Id do her" infront of me, like seriously you can think it but dont say it infront of your girlfriend. So from then on I was self concious about not being good enough for him and thought he was with me because maybe he thought he couldnt get anyone else.
Well time went on and we argued about the things that he said (and he doesnt say things as much anymore) but things still play on my mind, like he would say he would fuck a girl infront of me so what would he do behind my back....
When he says he is going out for a lads night out I feel sick like he would cheat on me, although he has said he wouldnt and gets moody when I suggest that he might. I mean I hear things about lads cheating on 'lads nights out' and when they are drunk. It just frightens me.
Also he added my old best friend on facebook and refuses to delete her although he doesnt know her and has seen her twice but didnt speak to her, I dont talk to her anymore so I dont see why he has her on facebook but we get in arguments because I want him to delete her as I think he fancies her and he says he doesnt but if it causes arguments then why wont he delete her? ALSO he had her number in his phone!! I have her number and he either copied it from my phone (which is probably the case) or he got it from her (I looked through his contacts to ring my sister and saw her name so i deleted it but didnt mention anything to him). It really bugs me as he fancied my other friend from college and actually told me about it and it took arguments and breaking up for him to delete her from facebook. He adds girls he doesnt know just because he thinks they are good looking. I dont do that if I think a guy is good looking!! I just dont know what to do because I do love him but he is sometimes distant towards me, I try and kiss him and he pulls away, I have to ask for cuddles, I have to text and ring him first, he picks on me for being fat and says things about my ginger hair and it hurts although its a joke to him it hurts me and I tell him but he doesnt listen and carries on.
What do I do, I want to stop feeling jealous when he looks at other girls and stop feeling this way.
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Gooooood grief! Ok, so im only 15 and i've been with my bf for about as long as you have, a bit longer though, and he is the exact opposite of your bf. Mine is commited. Yours however... is not, no offense. I don't think your relationship is that great. I wouldn't put up with that at all. It'd hurt me too much and idk how you can handle it. You have every right to be jealous and upset. That is not right for him to do that. I think you deserve better. I know it would be hard to end your relationship considering how long you been dating, but i think it would be best to do it. It might take a while to get over him but in the long run it'd be worth it. Find someone that will treat you right and loves you no matter what. I wish you luck!
-J
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This what you've described is not a relationship, It's questionable to whether it's even a relationship at all. You can't trust him, You made that clear in what you said and frankly you have every right not too. If he is pulling away from you when you want to kiss him, Talking about other females in a dirty way it kind of gives you the hint that he might have someone else on the side and I wouldn't be a bit surprise. Your boyfriend sounds like to much of a pansy to even cough up and be straight forward about how he really feels. It's just like it is, He only loves you because he is with you...That IS if he even loves you at all the likeliness of that is almost zero. You are too good for him, He doesn't deserve someone like you and in some ways I think it's safe to say your boyfriend is immature. Someone who is down to business on a relationship does not cheat (I can almost promise you, You are or have been cheated on) Trust, Plays a huge role in relationship along with respect. Your boyfriend doesn't respect you enough to keep his opinions to himself. You need to move on, Cut all contact and keep it that way. Someone who cheats or even thinks of cheating doesn't deserve anyone and most of all he doesn't deserve your friendship either.
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if you and your boyfriend are still together. you need to get over this, just think he loves you because hes still with you, and if you keep going on and asking him about it you will push him away. and he probably says those things infront of you because hes comftable with you and the relationship you two have. he probably doesnt see any harm in having you ex best friend as one of his friends on facebook so hes putting up the argument of not deleting her, dont worry so much you need to trust him more, have a little faith that he wont cheat on you. And if you cant just forget then maybe you simply shouldnt be with him.
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