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I dont have a purpose to life.
My life is falling apart. I have no idea where i am, or where im going. Everyone supposedly has a purpose in life. but i am convinced i dont have one. I have no one to turn to. I lost my best friend. i dont feel like i can talk to my boyfriend. I feel like in every aspect of my life, in anything i do its never good enough. I cant count the amount of times ive considered suicide. I feel like i have no point in my life. theres nothing i look forward to anymore. I rarely get told by my family that they're proud of me. and its not like im a bad person at all! Its just they insist on just pointing out things i need to change about myself. Sorry for rambling, i just dont know what else to do, or who to talk to.
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Don't apologize for rambling! That's what I made this site for :) and I'm glad you decided to talk to me about it..I'll try my best to help :]
First off, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I can definitely relate. It's like..no one even cares about you or understands how you feel.. like you try so hard but no one ever appreciates it, and it gets frustrating. Sometimes it feels like no one even needs you and no matter what you d it doesn't work out. That's how I feel all the time. I recently lost my best friend as well. He basically just stopped caring about me.. even though I would do anything for him.. I guess he just didn't appreciate it. and my family, I love them to death, but I feel like my parents never appreciate anything I do either. It's like I'm the PERFECT duaghter, but they don't even seem to care how much effort I put out and everything I do.
Anyway, you're wrong. You do have a purpose in life, you just haven't discovered it yet. You're young.. you have your whole life ahead of you. I know sometimes you feel lost and confused and have no idea what to do with yourself, but that's part of being a teenager :P Eventually you will discover who you are, what matters to you, and what makes you happy. Losing your best friend hurts a lot, trust me I know. But honestly, as cliche as it sounds, they weren't even worth it ad they don't deserve you. Friends come and go... and if she/he was a true friend and worth having, they'd still be by your side. :) I'm sorry you don't feel like you can talk to your boyfriend, but I kind of understand that. You're a mess and you don't even know what's what. That's how I was, and I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone. Plus he's a guy and girls tend to undersatnd better :) You should try talking to him if you ever need to, though. Give him a chance. Even if he can't help, he loves you and he's there for you whenever. He cares about you, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you needed to ramble on and on or needed a shoudler to cry on. :) Talk to your family! Seriously. I know it seems really awkward to do, but if you never let them know how you feel, they're not going to change. I promise you, though, that they are proud of you. They just don't express it enough.. and I'm sure if they knew how you felt and taht you needed to hear it more often, they'd be better. But I am proud of you :D Even though I don't know you. I'm proud of you because even though you have so many obstacles to face, you still get up everyday and you deal with them. I'm proud of you for taking the time to try to get someone to help you through this, and I'm so proud of you for ebing this strong. You are ana mazing person, and I PROMISE you that you can and will get through anything. Your family shouldn't be so critical, and you really should let them know how much they hurt you. They are your foundation.. tehy should be the ones boosting you up.. and I completely understand what you mean about how they treat you. I know you're not a bad person, and I'm sure they know it too. Just be honestw ith them and ask them to stop being so harsh on you. Even write them a letter if you have to :) I am extremely, terribly sorry that you have considered suicide multiple times, buit again, I'm REALLY proud of you for not doing it. That takes so much strength and many people don't even realize that. But suicide isn't the way out.. It's just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's not even really a solution, actually. It's something you can never take back.. and you don't want to hurt anyone by doing that do you? Next time you consider comminting suicide.. think of how your family and friends and boyfriend will feel. You don't wnat to hurt them! Listen to Why by Rascal Flatts.. and jsut think.. do you want someone to hear that song and think about your death? Commiting suicide is not going to help. You're young..you have your whole life ahead of you! Please don't just throw it all away. You mean so much to so many people out there that you'll never even realize. You've impacted so many people's lives in the littlest ways that you'll never know.I know you're not going to believe this, but things WILL get better. I absolutely PROMISE you that. and no, I'm not just saying that to give you hope or to convince you to keep trying. I'm telling you that because it is the complete truth. A few months ago,I was in your shoes. I thought I'd never be happy again. People would tell me things would get better, and I didn't want to believe it. I would just think "They don't know what I'm going through. Things just seem to keep getting worse.. how could they possibly get better!?" and then one day I woke up, and I actually WANTED to get up and I just wnated to do so much. I felt so happy and carefree for the first time in over a year and it was amazing. I didn't think the day would ever come, and I was so happy when it did..and I've been happy every since. That's why I wanted to start this advice column.. I wnat to help people see that they are nto alone.. thats omeone out there does stillcare and will listen and offer help.. that someone can understand them and relate. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone needs to be reassured and promised that everything will be alright..because it will be. This is jus the storm before the calm.. you'll see the sunn again soon! :) I have faith in you, and I know oyu cna get through this. You seem like such a strong person and you can do anything. Don't give up. Do all you have to.. fight lke hell to keep yourself going. This pain you feel will eventually go away, and it'll be worth it in the long run. You mean so much to so many people and even though I have no clue who you are, you mean a lot to me too :) and I will support you through this the whole way because I know you're capable of overcoming everything. I really hope this helped and that things get better soon. You are an amazing person and I'm so proud of you for keeping yourself going even though it feels like it's easier to just give up. :) I'm here for you always, so feel free to write whenever you need to.
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