My name is Melissa and I'm sixteen. I decided to make this account because I absolutely adore helping people. I believe everyone deserves to be happy and deserves to be heard. Sometimes you think you'll be fine by yourself, but it's harder to walk on your own. Everyone needs to reach out to someone at one point, and I would love to be there for anyone who needs it. Making people smile is my favorite thing in this world. What completely inspired me to do this was getting through tough times of my own, and helping other people through their's..I've been told my advice is "enlightening" and I'd love to share itw ith whoever needs it. I just hope I can help, and I promise to try my best. :D
E-mail: emailforouts@aim.com
Gender: Female
Location: Philly, PA
Occupation: High School Student
Age: 16
Member Since: June 5, 2010
Answers: 14
Last Update: March 9, 2011
Visitors: 2069
Main Categories:
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Hi im gay i wrote in a few weeks ago i took your advice and it worked thank you for your help i did what you said i flirted a little gave him little hints he seemed to like it afer awhile i told him that im gay and that i liked him a couple of days later he told me hes gay and he likes me too we talked for awhile and then he said he wanted to kiss me so we kiseed at it was really good weve been together now just over a month and we are really happy together so i thought i write in to say thanks you really help thanks. (link)
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Hey! I'm sorry I'm late with this reply. but aww! I'm so glad to hear things worked out. I wish you two happiness and the best of luck. Thanks for stopping by and letting me know how things went, I really appreciate it. Glad I could help(:
Take care
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im male 16 ive been with my girlfriend for about 4 months and we make out a lot and im a bit nervous about going further my penis is not real big im a bit embarrassed about it will she still like me it wont turn her off me will it?
do girl care much about penis size? (link)
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It depends on each girl whether or not they care about size. In my opinion though, if you truly like/love the guy, the size of their penis doesn't matter. If she really likes/loves you, she won't even care. Don't worry! I'm sure you're just getting worked up over something that probably isn't even that big of a deal. She's not going to mind, and I'm positive she'll still like you after..and if she does care about the size of your penis, then she doesn't even deserve you. :) I wish you all the best of luck. Don't worry, do what your heart tells you :) Just make sure she is ready to do more and that you don't pressure her. And be safe!! :]
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I really like this guy were good friends im 16 male im gay hes also 16 i havent come out to anyone yet im not sure if hes gay and im a bit nervous to tell him how i feel hes real friendly with me and we hang out a lot together and my feelings are getting stronger all the time how do i find out if hes gay? do i just tell him or flirt wth him a little how do i handle this? (link)
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Hey! :]
First off, I just wanted to say I admire you. I can only imagine how complicated it must be to try to come out, especially as a teenager, and I've never experienced this.. but I respect how strong you must have to be. :)
Has anyone ever mentioned anything about him probably or possibly being gay? Does he have a more of a feminine side than most guys? Now, I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm just trying to determine some factors that may make someone gay, according to some one of my close friends has anyway :) If he is gay, he's probably just as nervous as you are to come out to you and has no idea what to say. I don't think you should come directly out right away and confess your feelings until you have a better guessing of his sexuality. I think you should try something like.. "I wish I looked like -some celebrity-. He's hot" or something along those lines, and see his reaction. Try making little subtle hints about being gay, and if he is gay as well he'll probably catch on. Or, you could even just ask him flat out, but only if you don't think it will offend him if he's straight. Either way, he's either a good friend, or someone who likes you and has the potential to be more. When you confide in him your sexuality, he should accept it either way. I think you should try flirting with him and dropping hints here and there and see how that goes before you completely confess how you feel, only because it might be a little awkward for him at first if you say you like him and he's straight.(Ps: If he's straight, he's missing out on a great guy ;]) Sorry if this wasn't much help, but I really tried!! :] Good luck, I wish you the best! I'm here whenever if you want to ask anything else. Keep me posted if you wish, I always wonder how everyone turns out. hahaha. Have a great day, and I apologize for replying so late. This has been a crazyyy hectic week for me.
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Hi, this is the girl who said she had suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay. I was recently admitted to hospital and spent ten days in a crisis unit. I was tentatively diagnosed with depression, anxiety, OCD, and an eating disorder. I'm on medication now, and in therapy. I didn't find your answer until today, but thank you. (link)
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Hey! It was great to hear from you, thank you so much. I've honestly been very worried. I'm extremely glad you got help. I mean,I can offer advice and be there, but I'm no professional, that's about all I can do. Everything is going to be okay now though. I just want you to know that I am SO proud of you and I look up to you for not giving up and for seeking help. That was the best thing you've ever done, and I know it must have been very hard. You are a strong, beautiful person and I know this is the start to a much happier life for you. I'm glad to hear you're okay, and I wish you the best of luck with everything. :)You're amazing!!!!!
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I just found out that my dad smokes pot. I'm 16, straight-edge, and almost in tears. I've always looked up to him! What do you do when you find out your DAD does something that, since you were 10, you've been told not to do. I have NO ONE to talk to about it. I'm afraid to talk to my mom. What if she doesn't know? What if she DOES?? What if she does it too??? I'm afraid my friends will judge my family if I talked to them, and even if I were to talk to them, I'm on vacation for three weeks and... I just couldn't tell them over the internet... I feel like a kid who just found out there's no santa. I know there's nothing I can really do about it. Some kids would think it's "cool" if their parents smoked but I'm disgusted. I'm sorry to be venting this all to you, but OUTS is gone and when I went to it's page I saw your link...
Thank you, by the way, for helping everyone out, I know it means a lot. (link)
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There's no santa!?!?!? :O hehehe. Jussstt kidding. Hey! don't apologize for venting to me. That's why I made this, and I am glad you came to me..and thanks for thanking me. That really meant a lot to me :) Yea, I hate that OUTS is gone as well. That's when I decided to try and find an advice column to make, because I know people still need it..
Anyway, I'm really sorry this happened to you. I'm sixteen and straight-edge as well, and I know I'd be heartbroken if I found out one of my parents smokes pot. I just want to say really quick, that I'm extremely proud of you for being straight-edge..most people our age aren't anymore, and I know it can be tricky sometimes, but I really respect you for that. Don't feel ashamed to talk to your friends about this! If they're true friends, they are not going to judge you..and even if anyone were to, they can't judge YOU based on your father's decisions. I can only imagine how hard this is for you to put up with, but as I read that, all I could think was..well, it's not you that started doing drugs, so you should not feel ashamed or guilty. I understand that you would feel afraid to talk to your mom..because if she doesn't know what he does, it might cause them to argue or some kind of tension. Honestly, though, you should try talking to her..because if she doesn't know,yes it may make her mad at him as well, but she could try to help him get out of this bad habit..and if she does know, maybe when she realizes how much you care and are concerned, she'll try to convince him. Then the worst case scenario, if she does it too, then you can just talk to the two of them about it. I mean, even talk to your dad about it. Something along the lines of.. "Dad, I found out you smoke pot, and it really upset me that you would go and do something you've been encouraging me not to all of my life. Do you know how that makes me feel!?" I know that seems realllllyy awkward, but I think being open with him may help. Even if it doesn't, and he keeps doing this, it doesn't mean he's a bad person. Many people do drugs as an escape from reality..an escape from some kind of pain or sadness, or other complication in their life. I'm not supporting drugs or anything else like that, I'm just trying to reason with you why your father would do this. But sweetheart, you're on vacation! Try to let it go for now and not worry about it. Easier said than done, I know..but just try to keep yourself occupied and your mind off of it until you at least are home. Don't ruin your vacation :( and when you're home, try talking to him about how this makes you feel, no matter how awkward it makes you feel. I'm sorry if this doesn't help much, but I really did try. The way I see it, is that your dad made a stupid decision that you are completely against. it probably feels almost as if he betrayed you..but you know what? Don't beat yourself up over this. I know you love him, but this is all his decision. Don't make yourself feel bad about it. All you can do is talk to him..be as open as you can, and try to convince him to stop. I agree with what you said about some kids thinking their parents smoking is cool, and I don't think it is either. Some people do drugs just for the fun of it, and some people do them because they feel they have no other option, you know? Anyway, please stop stressing yourself over this hun! If you feel you want to talk to him or your mom or your friends or anyone after vacation, do it. Don't be afraid ro, because in the long run, you'll feel so much better that you were open with them. I hope this helps. Good luck with everything and I am SO proud of you. I hope everything turns out okay. Keep your head up, you can get through this :) and if you ever need someone to vent to or advice about absolutely anything in the world, feel free to write to me. Hope you have an amazing vacation! :)
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I got trained as a severe weather spotter by the National Weather Service 2 yrs ago when I was 18. This past Spring Break I went on a organized tornado chasing tour and was there when that big tornado outbreak that hit Norman, Moore, and Oklahoma City plus a few other places. Flying debris actually broke a couple of the windows of the van I was in because we got really close and while I enjoyed the adrenaline rush and had fun doing it, that night I had a nightmare that instead of us just getting really close, the tornado actually got us...and I've having a lot of nightmares about tornadoes since then like several times a week. I've been ok during the day, but at night when I lay down...it all seems to get to me. What's going on and what can I do? (link)
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Hello :) My sincerest apologies for the delayed response;I was away and didn't have access to a computer. Anyway, I hope I can still help.
This is actually the first time I'm hearing about this tornado outbreak, and it's horrible! I'm extremely glad you were not injured though.
You say this gets to you more at night. I believe this is because at night, you have more time to think and your emotions really hit you, which would be the most ideal time for you to recap what you lived through this past Spring. I believe you are having these dreams over and over because you lived through such an emotional tragedy. Though you enjoyed being there, subconsciously it probably frightened you and you still haven't realized/accepted that yet. Now, I don't know much about dreams/nightmares or the analyzation of them so I don't want to just base this on my opinion, for I am not a professional in the topic. I decided to do some research, and came up with the following:
"After a person has experienced a traumatic event such as natural disaster, participating in combat, or being a victim of physical assault or rape, he often re-experience the event through intrusive thoughts, dreams, acting or feeling as if the event were reoccurring and/or intense distress." and this seems pretty accurate to what you are going through, so these recurring nightmares are normal and expected. I researched how to stop recurring nightmares and came up with the following:
"1) Talk about the nightmare with someone. Give it a voice. Describe it fully, scene by scene, what happened and how you felt.
2) Write it out. Write out the whole scenario, including what happens when you wake up.
3) Act it out. Play all the characters involved.
4) Imagine a more pleasant ending. It sounds simple, but getting every neurological loop involved can help finish the business.
•If those rituals don't lessen the nightmares, take a closer look at your internal dialogue. What you tell yourself can have a dramatic influence on your subconscious. "
Since that was advised by a professional-Dr.Phil to be exact- I think you should try it. Some of the steps seem silly, but most likely they do work. :) So try these out and then if you want to, you can come back on here and discuss the matter further-whether or not it worked, and if not, we can try to come up with more solutions if you'd like. :) I'm sorry if this was not much help, but I really did try. Feel free to come to me with anything. I hope everything works out great and that you can get rid of these nightmares once and for all. :]
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I sometimes think about killing myself. Not that I'm depressed, or manic, sometimes I just get overwhelmed and really really want a need out. Sometimes it isn't even that- I'll just be standing in front of a busy road waiting to cross and imagine myself walking out into traffic. Mostly when I get overwhelmed, it's because of thoughts that I can't get out of my head- stress issues that make me sick to my stomach and dizzy, but I cannot make them go away. Usually this is at night, and I think about taking a Gravol to make myself go to sleep, but it's gotten to the point that I don't trust myself with the bottle of pills. I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is normal? Or if everyone goes through this? If you have any thoughts, that would be really great! Thank you! (link)
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Hey! I'm so sorry about the late response. I've been away and haven't had access to the computer. Thank you for coming to me though. Even though I'm late, I hope this helps.
First off, I know you aren't depressed or manic. Just because someone thinks about suicide/their death doesn't automatically mean they have a deeper problem. I know many people who have/have had suicidal thoughts and they are perfectly normal-not saying that depression makes you not normal- I personally believe that this is something everyone goes through at some point in there lives. Everyone feels lost and confused..overwhelmed and stressed out to the point that they feel they can not take it, at some point or another. I have even experienced feelings like this all the time, and still to this day do. You probably have these feelings the most at night because that's when you have the most time to think..and that's when your emotions really hit you. However, if you don't trust yourself even taking pills, that might be more serious. As I've said many times on this column, suicide is not the only option. Actually, it isn't even an option! I absolutely promise you can get through this. I know, more than most people, that life really can get you down sometimes. Sometimes you get so stressed that you don't even see the point in trying anymore. and then sometimes, maybe you just wonder what it would be like if you were to die..who would care, what would happen to you..but honestly, it's not worth it. There are other ways out. I've met many suicidal people, and fortunately I have been lucky enough to help them pull through. It can be done. Even when it feels like your world is crashing down, there is always a reason to keep you going. Find your motivation..whether it's a song, a person, or a younger family member's smile, or even me! I want you to overcome every obstacle thrown at you, and I know you can do that. Having brief thoughts of suicide is one thing, but actually considering it enough that you don't trust yourself is another. So please for my sake be careful, and don't do anything stupid. I'm very proud of you for taking the time out to consult someone about this :) Next time you have this kind of feeling, vent to someone, listen to music, write in a journal, whatever makes you feel better. Try making a list of reasons why you should keep going, and hold on to that; make it your reason for living, even if it's only one. and always remember, suicide isn't going to solve your problems..it's just going to end any oppurtunity you ever could come across,throw away your life, and you're going to hurt so many people, because you mean the world to them. Next time you feel this way, feel free to come on here and discuss it with me if you'd like-I promise I'll reply a lot sooner than I did with this one.:D So do me a favor? Keep fighting and don't ever give up, for me? Because I know you're stronger than that. :) You're amazing.
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Okay so I get told everyday I am beautiful by people, sometimes people I don't even know. I get yelled at when I tell my friends or family I think I'm fat or ugly but they don't get I really truly believe I am, I always thought I was. Every time I look in the mirror I see constant flaws on every inch of my body. There is not one thing about myself I like. I'm always self conscious about looking bad and most the time I stay inside, alone because I don't want anyone to see me. The problem is i really want to live my life without caring about it..I just don't know how... (link)
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You're family shouldn't yell at you when you say you are uncomfortable with your looks, but they, and everyone else, is right when they tell you you are beautiful. A lot of girls call themselves ugly and fat just for attention, which is plain stupid. I know you don't do that, and you should let your family know that too. You really are beautiful though. Of course you're thinking, "How would she know if she's never seen me!?" but obviously if people, even some that you don't know are saying that you are, then you are. These constant flaws you see are probably just things you exaggerate without even realizing and then you just make yourself feel really low about yourself when really there is nothing wrong with you.! :) You may not like anything about yourself, but a lott of people like things about you. :) I'm sure there's something-your eyes, the way your hair looked that one day..even personality traits. Honestly, if someone is a beautiful person inside, it goes a lot further than looks. Luckily for you though, you're beautiful in personality AND looks :)Find one thing you like about yourself-physical or not. and use that to get you to accept yourself and learn to love who you are, and sweetheart, PLEASEE go out. You are, in no way, too ugly to be seen in public. I mean, look out your window. I can guarantee you're prettier than 95% of those people. If you keep staying in, you're only hurting yourself. One day you're going to look back and say "Wow. Why did I throw my whole life away and just let it pass me by? Why didn't I live like I wanted too. I'm sexy!" hahaha. and if you're THAT insecure, give yourself a makeover. :D Buy a pretty new outfit, do your nails, make your hair look pretty, maybe a little makeup if you want. Anythng that makes you feel prettier than you are-(as long as it's safe and healthy). Look, I PROMISE you you are pretty. and I reallllllyy don't want you to regret this part of your life when you're older...because honestly, you're not going to look back on your life and say..I looked so ugly that night! You're going to look back and say...Wow, that night was so much fun! So accept yourself for who you are, and get out there and find people who accept you for you as well. Please, for ME, start living your life? Even though I don't know you, it would mean so much to me if you did. I wrote this for you, so now you have to tell yourself you're beautiful, and go out and have fun! :D
I really hope this helps :)
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Hey, I need some advice about a guy. We've been friends for about a year now, and have gotten really really close. We've always been teased about getting together and in the middle of the year, we talked about a potential relationship, but he said because he was leaving for university next year, it wouldn't be the best idea. And I was really getting over him, until about two weeks ago, when he was drinking at grad party, and we spent a lot of time together. He held me in front of everyone (which I didn't expect, knowing how much he would be made fun of) and kissed me, but not on the lips. When he asked me if he could kiss me for real, I told him to wait until he was sober. The next day, I texted him to ask if he was really as drunk as he said he was, and he said he wasn't. After a long conversation where we both admitted we'd LIKE to try something, we decided to wait until the "near future" and see how things play out. This is driving me crazy, and I will be devastated to know if nothing like what happened at grad ever happens again. Help? (link)
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Hey :) Thanks for asking me, I really hope I can help! Well first off, I've kind of been in your situation before. I liked my best guy friend at one point and decided to tell him about it..he said he liked me too, but we decided to just stay friends..that way nothing would jeopardize out friendship. After a few months, I decided I still had feelings for him and told him about it..but he wanted to stay friends and not risk losing anything and that maybe in thefuture something would happen. Within time passing by, I realized that my feelings weren't as strong as I thought and that we would be better off as friends.
Anyway, I think you should wait. He does have a point with the whole going to university next year idea. Things could change a lot with him being away, you know? I think it is best that you hold off for at least some time while he is at university. See how things go, and if you both have the same feelings while he is away. If it's meant to be, everything will fall into place soon enough. "Good things take time". Don't rush it :) For now, try to think less about it...see other guys in the mean time and see if your feelings for him change, and he should do the same. If after a while you two realize you really truly believe you should be together, then try it out. It's better to risk it than to wonder "what-if" later on. I know it's going to be hard to wait out, but it'll be for the best later...and you'll get to see just how strong your feelings/future relationship will be :) You can do this. Try to take your mind off of him by keeping yourself very busy; it works :) Good luck on everything, and I hope this helped
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okay, so i have a best friend and weve been best friends since the beginning of the school year, then last month we started going out but then we broke up over some stupid mistake, then after that we fought constantly for like 2-3 weeks. they just started acting normal again and theyve started flirting with me and stuff again, i love him soo much and weve been having amazing times lately, but were not officially going out, there is another girl in the picture i dont know anything about her but i do know they like each other, but this girl is about 4 years older. im also leaving for vacation next week and i really dont wanna leave them behind, ill be over seas for a month, he said hell miss me alot and we will talk everyday and stuff but idk, just need some help on how to get him back. (link)
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Hey :) Thanks for coming to me..I realllyy hope I can help, I promise I'll try my hardest :)
Anyway, have you talked to your best friend yet about how you feel? I think the best thing is just to be honest with him..maybe something along the lines of: "Hey I know there's something between you and ___girl__ and I just want to know what's going on with you two. I still really like you, but I don't want to be led on if it's not going anywhere." I know it's easier said than done, but you really should talk to him and see how he feels. That's the best way to try and get him back..and don't feel like you have to compete with this girl for him; because honestly, if he still has the same feelings for you as you do for him, there's no competition at all :) Talk to him and see where things go from there. If you're meant to be with him, it'll all work out..I absolutely promise you that. and if not well then, it was his loss in letting you go in the first place. :) So I suggest you talk to him about how you feel and see where it goes from there. After you talk to him, if you want to you can come back on here and let me know how it went and if you need any advice from there..and if you already talked to him let me know and we'll see what to do :) Good luck with everything. I wish you the best..and I really hope this helped. Make sure you talk to him-especially before vacation! Even if it doesn't go the way you want it to, at least you won't be wondering for the whole month, and you won't regret not taking the chance. Have a fun and safe trip! and I'm always here if you need anything
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So here's my problem. I met a boy in September and we became friends. Then sparks flew and in November we started going out. But it wasn't until a month afterwards that I found out that his dad here is a real nut case. (His parents never married and he lives with his dad here and his mom is 2 provinces over.) Then things started to go sour when he came to school everyday really upset and distracted when he had bad arguments with his dad and broke things off with me. Then come 2 months later and we finally talked and it was like fate. After that day he calls me that evening and the day after that and we talk about what the hell happened. A week goes by without talking and then he phones again the day before yesterday and he said that when he was dating the 2 girls after me he still misses me and misses the fun time. What do I do about this? (link)
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Well, first off it seems he was really stressed about his dad. Family issues can really affect people and make them act different and feel down. He probably didn't want to hurt you or put his problems on you, and that's why he broke it off in the first place. It seems like now he eiether regrets what he did.. or he just got screwed over by one of these girls and wants you back. You know him better than I do, so I'm sure you know what the situation is :)
Anyway, I know you don't want to hear this.. but it's your call. If you feel he deserves a second chance and that he's not going to hurt you.. and you have feelings for him, tell him because it seems like he wants to get back with you. But if you don't feel like he'll change.. or that he's going to hurt you again or use you, then let him go because you don't need that. See, I really don't want to influence you either way because it's how YOU feel that should decide. :] Do what your heart says, not what you want to do, and don't stop yourself. Talk to him and take things slow for now until you figure it out-there's no rush(: Sorry if this isn't much help, but I hope it gives you something to think about.. and I KNOW you'll make the right decision. :) Good luck with everything
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I know you are a part of OUTS and so you now how everyone said everyone is beautiful. But I think I am the most unattractive thing alive. A lot of people tell me I am beautiful and skinny I just don't believe it. (link)
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You know what? I COMPLETELY agree with you. You aren't beautiful.. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. YOU ARE GORGEOUS...and I would NEVER lie to you. And obviously people are telling you that you're pretty and thin for a reason; they wouldn't lie to you either. Every girl is gorgeous in her own way.. "Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes". Society makes this ideal image of a girl that everyone is supposed to look like..and it stresses girls out. The public puts girls down too much and kills their self esteem. What people really need to realize is that the differences in our physical features are what make us beautiful. and beauty isn't all about what's on the outside. As cliche and ridiculous as this sounds, it's about what's on the inside :) Here's what I want you to do..get a piece of paper.. write all the flaws you think you have on it. Don't look at it again..rip it up and get rid of it.. and forget about all of them. Then make a list of the things you like about yourself(physical and non physical)-the longer the better- and put it by your mirror. Take a sticky note and wrote "I am beautiful on it" and put it on your mirror. Every time you are getting ready, look at it, say it out loud.. and don't stop until you believe it. Even redecorate your room with things and inspirational quotes that make you feel better about yourself :) I hope this helped. And really, honestly.. you are beautiful. I know it, everyone on OUTS knows it, all your friends and family and other people who tell you so knoe it, and you should know it too. So stop this nonsense(: and embrace the fact that you are GORGEOUS and AMAZING. and THIN and SEXYYY ;]
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My life is falling apart. I have no idea where i am, or where im going. Everyone supposedly has a purpose in life. but i am convinced i dont have one. I have no one to turn to. I lost my best friend. i dont feel like i can talk to my boyfriend. I feel like in every aspect of my life, in anything i do its never good enough. I cant count the amount of times ive considered suicide. I feel like i have no point in my life. theres nothing i look forward to anymore. I rarely get told by my family that they're proud of me. and its not like im a bad person at all! Its just they insist on just pointing out things i need to change about myself. Sorry for rambling, i just dont know what else to do, or who to talk to. (link)
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Don't apologize for rambling! That's what I made this site for :) and I'm glad you decided to talk to me about it..I'll try my best to help :]
First off, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I can definitely relate. It's like..no one even cares about you or understands how you feel.. like you try so hard but no one ever appreciates it, and it gets frustrating. Sometimes it feels like no one even needs you and no matter what you d it doesn't work out. That's how I feel all the time. I recently lost my best friend as well. He basically just stopped caring about me.. even though I would do anything for him.. I guess he just didn't appreciate it. and my family, I love them to death, but I feel like my parents never appreciate anything I do either. It's like I'm the PERFECT duaghter, but they don't even seem to care how much effort I put out and everything I do.
Anyway, you're wrong. You do have a purpose in life, you just haven't discovered it yet. You're young.. you have your whole life ahead of you. I know sometimes you feel lost and confused and have no idea what to do with yourself, but that's part of being a teenager :P Eventually you will discover who you are, what matters to you, and what makes you happy. Losing your best friend hurts a lot, trust me I know. But honestly, as cliche as it sounds, they weren't even worth it ad they don't deserve you. Friends come and go... and if she/he was a true friend and worth having, they'd still be by your side. :) I'm sorry you don't feel like you can talk to your boyfriend, but I kind of understand that. You're a mess and you don't even know what's what. That's how I was, and I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone. Plus he's a guy and girls tend to undersatnd better :) You should try talking to him if you ever need to, though. Give him a chance. Even if he can't help, he loves you and he's there for you whenever. He cares about you, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you needed to ramble on and on or needed a shoudler to cry on. :) Talk to your family! Seriously. I know it seems really awkward to do, but if you never let them know how you feel, they're not going to change. I promise you, though, that they are proud of you. They just don't express it enough.. and I'm sure if they knew how you felt and taht you needed to hear it more often, they'd be better. But I am proud of you :D Even though I don't know you. I'm proud of you because even though you have so many obstacles to face, you still get up everyday and you deal with them. I'm proud of you for taking the time to try to get someone to help you through this, and I'm so proud of you for ebing this strong. You are ana mazing person, and I PROMISE you that you can and will get through anything. Your family shouldn't be so critical, and you really should let them know how much they hurt you. They are your foundation.. tehy should be the ones boosting you up.. and I completely understand what you mean about how they treat you. I know you're not a bad person, and I'm sure they know it too. Just be honestw ith them and ask them to stop being so harsh on you. Even write them a letter if you have to :) I am extremely, terribly sorry that you have considered suicide multiple times, buit again, I'm REALLY proud of you for not doing it. That takes so much strength and many people don't even realize that. But suicide isn't the way out.. It's just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's not even really a solution, actually. It's something you can never take back.. and you don't want to hurt anyone by doing that do you? Next time you consider comminting suicide.. think of how your family and friends and boyfriend will feel. You don't wnat to hurt them! Listen to Why by Rascal Flatts.. and jsut think.. do you want someone to hear that song and think about your death? Commiting suicide is not going to help. You're young..you have your whole life ahead of you! Please don't just throw it all away. You mean so much to so many people out there that you'll never even realize. You've impacted so many people's lives in the littlest ways that you'll never know.I know you're not going to believe this, but things WILL get better. I absolutely PROMISE you that. and no, I'm not just saying that to give you hope or to convince you to keep trying. I'm telling you that because it is the complete truth. A few months ago,I was in your shoes. I thought I'd never be happy again. People would tell me things would get better, and I didn't want to believe it. I would just think "They don't know what I'm going through. Things just seem to keep getting worse.. how could they possibly get better!?" and then one day I woke up, and I actually WANTED to get up and I just wnated to do so much. I felt so happy and carefree for the first time in over a year and it was amazing. I didn't think the day would ever come, and I was so happy when it did..and I've been happy every since. That's why I wanted to start this advice column.. I wnat to help people see that they are nto alone.. thats omeone out there does stillcare and will listen and offer help.. that someone can understand them and relate. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone needs to be reassured and promised that everything will be alright..because it will be. This is jus the storm before the calm.. you'll see the sunn again soon! :) I have faith in you, and I know oyu cna get through this. You seem like such a strong person and you can do anything. Don't give up. Do all you have to.. fight lke hell to keep yourself going. This pain you feel will eventually go away, and it'll be worth it in the long run. You mean so much to so many people and even though I have no clue who you are, you mean a lot to me too :) and I will support you through this the whole way because I know you're capable of overcoming everything. I really hope this helped and that things get better soon. You are an amazing person and I'm so proud of you for keeping yourself going even though it feels like it's easier to just give up. :) I'm here for you always, so feel free to write whenever you need to.
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I have been dealing with it for four years I can't stop I have tried so many times. Nothing helps I have tried almost everything (therapy, Snapping a rubber band, Writing where I cut, Talking to someone, Writing, Etc.) but nothing has worked...Any helpful tips? (link)
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First off, I'm very sorry you have to deal with this. I have a friend who used to cut and I know it was hard for her to stop. Maybe what you can do is find everything you could possibly cut yourself with and make sure you keep it away from you. If it takes you longer to find something to cut yourself with, it may prevent you from doing it. When you feel you are about to cut, try to stop and think about what you're about to do. Distract yourself as much as possible- watch tv, exercise, go for a walk-get out of the house and away from anything you could possibly harm yourself with. Try listening to music or taking your anger out in a healthier way..screaming, punching your pillow, whatever it takes. Cry. I know you said writing where you cut didn't help but what did you write? Try writing the name of the person who means the most to you. Look at pictures of your family or friends. Try carving into a soap bar. It'll release some of your pain and upset. What are you most passionate about? Think about that when you're about to cut.. think about the people who love you and how much you're hurting yourself. If you ever need anything, I'm here. I really hope this helps and that you can stop. I know you have the strength to and I wish you the best of luck. You're an amazing person, you can do this..I have faith in you. If you ever feel like you're about to cut, you can even come on here and tell me all about what happened to make you want to do it..it'll allow you to vent and distract yourself at the same time.
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