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a boy...
okay. sooo i read your advice to this one girl and i really liked it and i\'m about to tell you the entire story of my relationship (7 months) (things i\'m too scared to tell my friends) and i just wanna see what you say.
alright. i am a fourteen year old girl (freshman) and the guy is a sixteen year old boy (sophomore). it all started about ten months ago when i met him. we\'ll call him jack. (not his real name) and i saw him playing baseball last summer and i thought he was cute. when school started we talked because of a mutual friend. one football game he looked at me and smiled and after the football game we went to bdubs and just talked. after another football game (i\'m a cheerleader) he talked to me and asked for my number. we texted and talked and hung out in groups for about three months and then he asked me out. i was really really really happy. then one night about a month in he told me about a certain time with his ex girlfriend, and how he had fingered her. i was kinda upset by this but i don\'t really think i had a right to be. it\'s just before we started dating i had never kissed or done anything with a boy and i didn\'t want him to expect anything like that from me. he told me he didn\'t and that he valued our relathionship more than the physical stuff. and i believed him. thing is, i let him finger me. i wouldn\'t say he pressured me into it at all. he would try to slip his hand down there every once in a while and i would stop him, until one night i wanted him to do it and he did. things were fine. about anothere two months later, i gave him a handjob. he kind of asked for that... then we didn\'t go a lot farther for awhile but our relationship started to get really rocky. he would be a complete ass to me sometimes and it felt like all i ever did was annoy him or embarrass him and it sucked. when i went out of town he went out to lunch with this girl kacy. nothing happened, but i was still mad cuz he didn\'t wanna tell me about it. she was the one that asked him and there was anohter guy there but jack and kacy used to like eachother and she\'s constantly flirting with him. jack and i would just fight all the time and it sucked. we almost broke up but he said he was gonna try harder and he did. and things were slowly starting to get better. just four days before he broke up with me (he brok up with me on tuesday) he told me he felt so much happier and that he could tell things were better. but i\'m skipping a part... a week before we broke up i gave him a blowjob. i didn\'t really wanna do it but i felt almost kind of guilted into it. let\'s just say i\'m really bad at handjobs and i stopped giving them. well he kept fingering me and he could make it feel sooo good. he told me we had been dating for six months and that i should be comfortable enough with him to give him a blowjob. that he felt like the physical part of our relationship was completely one sided. so i did it... i trusted him when i did it and i wanted to make him happy and he broke up with me in a text message a week later. i don\'t even get why he did it when four days prior he told me how much happier he was... well its been a few days since we broke up. and i found out that after we broke up on tuesday he alrady started talking to this new girl on thursday. that just hurt really bad... i thought i wanted him back but i don\'t think i do anymore. i just gave so much of myself to this guy and i\'m so hurt right noww because it seems like those seven months didn\'t mean anything to him at all. i just don\'t know what to do... and i would really appreciate any advice you can give me. thing is i can\'t talk about this stuff with my friends because i\'m too ashamed to tell them that we did all that physical stuff... so please don\'t involve the advice doing that. i really don\'t want to.
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Wow. First, before I get to the advice, a request.
People use line breaks, paragraphs, and punctuation to express themselves so that others can easily read it. Questions like this are difficult to read and somewhat frustrating, there's no spaces to break off and think about what you've read and continue without losing your place.
Please, in the future, try to separate things out so that they're readable. Also, what's with the marks?
Now. This is what happens when you date older guys sometimes. There's alot of stigma associated with sex, but the truth is that different people want different things and it causes conflict even when there's nothing really wrong with what either person wants for themselves.
That's what happened to you. You're broken up because you weren't ready for things to end, and you look at him and feel frustrated because you don't think he's equally broken up.
People don't grieve when they're ready for things to end. He wanted things from you you weren't ready for. The breakup was an acknowledgment of that fact, which isn't anyone's fault. I'd be willing to bet that he could tell you weren't comfy with the oral, and he felt somewhat guilty for it.
You can't fault him. You've been having issues, and regardless of how much you like each other things weren't working. It doesn't sound like you were overly happy, obviously neither was he. Caring about each other doesn't mean a relationship is workable.
You gave too much because you wanted to make things work instead of letting go of a situation you really weren't ready to handle.
You're fine keeping this to yourself if you want. Take things one day at a time. The first step is accepting that it is over and moving on. Cease contact, tell him if you need to. No anger, just matter-of-factly tell him that you need to get over him because you weren't ready for things to end and he was, and that hurts. Ask him to not contact you, say your goodbyes, and stick to it.
Take it one step at a time. Flirt with guys you know or meet, and eventually it'll just be part of the past.
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