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confused as hell after the first kiss, should i call?
hi...
i couldn't find something similar to my situation so i figured i'll ask...
i have been "seeing" this guy for almost a month or so or maybe a little less. he's super sweet. i've known him for years but we only actually got to be friends over this short time frame (the last month of school). anwya i am not allowed to date (i am 17, 18 in a month) since my parents are uber strict. so i would sneak out and see him mostly late in the evening or early in the am... i would come up with excuses like i am at the library or at a friend's or whatever... so far so good. i know i know.. i hate lying and i never ever do it with exception to this time and a couple of years back when i snuck out with friends... anyway so this guy seems to be into me... he is the very first guy i've ever allowed myself to show my interest in return. usually i just listen to my parents and brush them all off by twisting my interest into something negative.... i still have one more year of highschool and my dad threatens to send my to my aunt's (there's a girl's school there... ahhh!) if i break the rules...
anyway i did...two nights ago and last night i snuck out and saw him...but last night........ :s it was technically the second time i actually let him get close to me ... usually he'll try to put his arms around me and i wouldn't put mine around him... he'll get my discomfort and back off... he's really gentle like that. so yesterday i made out with him. and i told him i've never done this before and he said if i was uncomfortable he'd stop but although i was scared i said i trusted him and new he wouldn't hurt me (i do, or i did i am not sure anymore)
things escalated. no sex.... he did put my hand on his parts though.. and i sort of caressed it... he told me how to... sort of directed me and soon the conversation took a sort of "normal-sounding" tone.... we talked about it in a rather "mature" way since i was somewhat curious and had so many questions. he answered very directly and casually... at one point he did show it to me. i was shocked... i've never seen one except once accidentally with one of the boys in school but that was it... (i was dared to walk into the boy's wc and ended up shocked *lol*)
so then he asked if he could "pleasure" me so to speak to return the favor... but i said no (i have no idea why i didn't stop this whole showing me his penis part and putting my hands on it since i got realllly uncomfortable -despite curiosity- and felt like i am a tramp or cheap or something... it sort of went against my personal principles).... so anywa i said no i am saving myself for marriage... very politely and very direct. he seemed ok with that and didn't press... we continued kissing and it was very enjoyable... but i guess by the end of the night.. (about 5 am!!!!!) i said we better head home.. and we did. he seemed very normal. talking through out the way back... but as i was getting out of his car i felt awkward and didn't know what to say or do so i looked so disoriented and it was awkward... he was very normal but not as sweet as he was earlier.. he was still polite and gentle though... anyway i did msg him after to see if he got home. he msgd back and wished me goodnight... so anyway today i expected a call or something.. like a text or anything... but nothing... nothing at all! i have no idea what to do... i don't want what happened between us circulating. he might tell his best friend but people are judgmental here so i don't know how this will translate... especially that my whole town is a relative variation of my family rules (some more open than others, i happen to be on the very strict side he isn't but he knows what my fam's like) anyway (the night before there was a bunch of falling stars during a small meteor shower or something and we made wishes, i got 3 he got 2) he did mention that his second wish from the night before... was to kiss me. he told me that after we kissed since it came true... his first wish, he says, involved something over a period of time (which i take it is a relationship) but after the whole awkward phase and the making out and stuff i feel like i might have turned him off and now he decided he isn't going in that direction.. i don't know what to do.. i don't want to msg and seem like i am okay with the rate of things or on the opposite, seem desperate! i do want to talk to him face to face and tell him i really like him but things have to slow down... but now school is over and if i don't contact him or he i, the odds are i will not get the chance to see him for a long time...
if you guys think i should initiate contact how do i do it? and what do i do if he doesn't answer or if he ignores me... i think i'll drop dead... *lol* well not that dramatic but it will really really take its toll... especially that i thought something more might come out of this...
if you guys think i shouldn't and pretend nothing happened (deny it if people find out, since i'll be shipped away otherwise!!!) how do i control the resulting damage!!!???
he knew that it was my first time.. i told him that. and i asked him if he'd done it before he said he had sex before.
i would really appreciate your answers asap! and so sorry for the long long longggg letter...
xo
Jay
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Honestly,
I just got out of the same situation. I kinda think he was out to get a piece of ass. Sorry to burst your bubble. :( I wish things would work out. But from the sounds of it, he isn't too happy about you wanting to save yourself for marriage (I give you props for telling him that!)
I would not... let me say it again... I WOULD NOT contact him. If he wants you so badly, he'll work for it. Play a little hard to get.
Trust me, I did the same thing... and it's not easy. I'm not patient at all, which made things worse.
And don't deny anything happened, you don't sound ashamed. If people ask, tell them that you guys made out and that was it. Nothing to be ashamed over.
So, if he really liked you and wanted something more than sex, he'll call you. Otherwise, I think he was just trying to have sex with you. And that sucks that all guys try it, and when you say no... they just act like you don't exist. Like, I said. I just went through it, so if you have any questions or need someone to talk to, let me know. :)
Good luck and I really hope he wasn't out just for sex...but it does sound like it. And if/when he calls/texts you...just act casual and like it didn't mean very much. It'll drive him crazyyyy. & play Hard To Get. :) It'll make him insane. haha. :)
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