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Scholarship
19/Female
I am applying for scholarships for my sophomore year of college. I recently filled out my FAFSA form, and I am not receiving enough financial aid to cover my college so this is the first time I have to apply for any.
I am getting ready to right an essay on leadership and how it has affected my life and I need some advice on doing it. I want to right about my mother having Multiple Sclerosis and how I have had to step up to the plate since we found out. I don't want to come off as needy or looking for a charity vote though. I just need some pointers on how to keep it from getting sappy or sounding pathetic.
I also am unsure how to go about writing it. Should it be exactly like papers I do for my classes? Or can it be a little more personal? I guess what I am asking is if it would be okay to say something like this,
"I thought long and hard about what I was going to write this essay about. Leadership has played many roles in my life, but I have learned most about it through the diagnosis of my mother's MS. If anything has taught me leadership skills, it's this."
Or something along those lines. Should I keep it formal and not mention I am writing the essay, or not?
Thanks. Any more pointers are welcome as well! :)
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Leadership is serving. Thats how you lead. I would suggest talking about that, and how serving your mom in her time of need has helped you to realize this. Then reference it, look back on some of the other great leaders in the world, and show how they have led by serving. Dont focus on the MS, focus on the serving and the growth it has caused in your character. Show how becoming a positive role model in your home (aka: leader) has led you to become a leader in other areas of your life. Good luck!
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I think it will have a greater affect if it's personal.
I also think that you should include a little bit about what Multiple Sclerosis is. If you don't explain what the symptoms are and what you have to do to help your mother and your family, then the reader will not understand the severity of the situation you were in. If you don't explain why you take the role as a leader in your home, then what you do will seem meaningless. For example, you can mention how "because the symptoms of MS include problems in speech I find that I have to speak for her to get her point across to others."
It might help if you explain how the skills you learned from this experience helped you in other times, for example "the responsability i had to develop helped me perform better in school as I learned how prioritize my time."
I really think it would also be benefical to not have it strictly formal. However, you can keep it from getting sappy by not mentioning too many feeling like it might not be wise to say "even though at the beginning i cried every night becuase the stress was unbearable..." Such a phrase does not contribute to the purpose of your paper, which is your leadership abilities.
Another idea is to say how you acted before the diagnosis. This will show how you have changed.
I would also advise having friends and teacher read it and have them tell you if it's too touchy feely, etc.
Those were soem thoughts I had, I hope they helped a bit. If you need clearification, let me know.
Best of luck on your essay!
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