What can I say to my mom to get her to quit smoking?
Question Posted Saturday April 17 2010, 11:01 pm
my mom smokes alot.
her best friend dyed 5 years ago from lung cancer. and I'm scared of my mom also getting it!
not only does my mom have a chance of it I do too because she smokes in the house.
what should I say to her to get her to understand that her smoking is affecting my health too?
Alin75 answered Sunday April 18 2010, 9:02 am: Unfortunately quiting smoking is a very personal thing. The strength of the addiction varies considerably.
You can try what the person below suggested, but I guarantee you that it will only work on a small percentage of the population.
When I was a smoker, you could have done anything; shown me anything; and I would have kept smoking. Same goes for 8 out of 10 of my smoker friends (all of whom still smoke today unfortunately).
If anyone had tried any sort of aggressive thing to make me stop it would not just have failed, but it would have backfired 100%. Same goes for my own mom. I tried all sorts of things when I was a child. In hindsight, they were too direct and argumentative.
So, this is what I would suggest. First, stay away when she smokes. Go to your room and close the door. Make sure to air out the place regularly too.
Second, initiate friendly conversation on the matter. It is very likely your mom has considered quiting before. Try to understand how she feels about it, why she has/has not tried quiting, etc.
Most hardcore smokers (like I was) cannot image a world without a smoke. The addiction is so great that even now, many years later, I still crave a cig from time to time. I think it will never go away fully. Thats the level of addiction you might have to deal with and, if so, you cant just bulldoze it away any more than you can bulldoze away a heroin addiction.
Anyway, after that you need to see how receptive she is to quiting. Your role her is support and gentle persuasion. Share your feelings, what scares you about losing her, about your own health, about her friend's death, etc. By all means talk about the health issues (bring pictures if you want), but I would do it in an open and non aggressive way.
Let her know that if she tries to quit she will have your full support in any way possible. Perhaps you could look into some products that might make things easier (again though, these work on some people but not on others- just so you know).
Then, when she is ready to quit, help her and support her in any way you can. Basically one has to make it through the first month. After that it gets much easier.
In the end every smoker is different so there is no formula. But this is the approach I would take in most cases.
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