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best friend or just another girl..
Hi Jess!:) I've asked you a question before and love your advice. This might be long but I will deff. return the favor!!
I am in a really big confusion. I'm 18 .. and I've known this guy for about 4 years but we have such a complicated friendship! We don't get to see each other that often, we go to different schools and all but at least twice a month i'd say. We're obviously both attracted to each other and we flirt ALL THE TIME but I know he is a huge flirt.
He just seems so different around me though, like he is always there for me and he truly does care I can tell. He's a total jock and so if you were to first meet him you'd probably think .. ohhh he's just an emotionless jock who wants any girl he can get. BUUUUT .. he acts different w/me. Whenever I say something about a guy he will become really protective of me and say nooo he's not for you. And whenever I need him, he's always there for me.
But here is where the problem comes in. So we've known each other for about 4 yrs right? Well about the past 2 years he's been trying to become sexual with me. It's not like he's just some random guy .. I trust him sooo much and just how he acts with me is so sweet and genuine but then when he tries getting with me it's like .. is this all he wants? He's the ONLY guy I could ever see myself doing anything sexual with for the past 2 years but then I always hold back because I'm like .. what if he is just using me? But then I go back to all the good times we have and how he is so protective of me and so sweet and doesn't act like that with all other girls.
I don't know what to do i'm so lost. Whenever I ask him about other girls we end up like fighting about it, but he does have a lot of girls who are his friends. I mean i'm his friend .. but am I just another girl too?? I've tried bringing it up but it just becomes a mess because I end up sounding really jealous and then I just start yelling and then walk away ..
What do you think?? Should I try new things with him? I can't stop thinking about him and how adorable he is and how much I want him, sexually.
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Heyy there :) Aw,well im glad you asked me =)
hmm okay tricky situation alright!
I can definately see where you are coming from i'd be in the same mind set.
Okay I guess what you need to do is figure out is it just sexually you want him..or is it more?
Like would you want a relationship with this guy?
could you see yourself becoming emotionally attacthed? if its just for some fun with your bestfriend and your both on the same page well I guess go for it as long as thats what you both agree,although that can get complicated also.
The part of me that seems to think hes not using you is the fact that youve been friends for 4years.
If he wanted just sex from you it seems like he would have given up long go and you guys wouldnt be friends.
He may be the type of guy that puts on the popular jock womaniser type in front of his friends or whatever,but with you hes maybe genuine and sincre.
Its a case of taking a risk I think.
If you go for it..it could be great and you guys could connect in a totally different way..however if you decide to do it you have to make sure youre prepared for bad outcomes..if it wasnt what you expected if you find out he was using you..you know that kind of hurt.
Its weighing up the pros and cons really.
from what you said though he does sound like a great friend who wouldnt wanna intentionally hurt you..
I think you should definately try talking to him about it again though..don't mention other girls concentrate on you..
ask him straight out what he wants..friendship more or a friends with benefits thing you guys need to make sure your on the same page in this relationship if not alot of hurt could happen and of course nobody wants that!
Im sorry I can't give you a definate yes or no answer..but this is what I would consider anyway and how I would go about making the decision!
I hope it helped in anyway! let me know what you decide :) &+anymore questions you know where I am!
Much <3
Jess
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