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my boyfriend turning into a friend!
Me and my ex boyfriend went out for like 3-4 months,We rarely fought and got a long GREAT.He dumped me because we were around eachoter so much and he needed "space". Long story short,Lately we've been "friends" and talking a lot in class and he walks to my class (like when we were dating) and still calls me to hangout on the weekends! We are in a group of people and we all have fun,but i still have feelings for him and miss just being "with" him .He obviously doesn't hate me like most break ups result in,because he usually calls me and talks to me first whenever we communicate at all.I don't know how to turn this friendship around again,its only been like 2 weeks so it's still fresh. Last night ,i ditched him when he asked to chill. I'm just scared that if I become good friends with him, I'll still have feelings for him but i have no idea how he feels towards me! I mean we obviously used to have something and I can't see how he can look at me like nothing happend. help!
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Hey.
I too am friends with my ex. People have called me crazy countless times and for good reason. Honestly, friendship with an ex isn't easy when there are feelings involved. :/ Based on everything you've said I've come up with two possible conclusions:
1. He said he needed "space" and yet he still spends all this time with you. This leads me to believe that he only used that as an excuse to break up and not hurt your feelings.
2. He genuinely feels that he does not want to be in a relationship (maybe with you or maybe in general) at this time. Sometimes people feel a bit of commitment phobia or just feel like they would rather be single at the moment. This is understandable.
In either event you will only know by asking him. I remember when my ex and I initially broke up I had a huge talk with him just to know the reasons and where we stood. He made it clear to me that his feelings were completely gone and that really helped me move on. You need to figure out whether he still has romantic feelings for you or not. Otherwise you are just hurting yourself by allowing yourself to hope that something will happen. Once you have the truth you'll find the proper way to deal with it.
I've figured out that the most difficult part of being friends with your ex is that it makes you wonder if you and this person are so close still then why can't you be together again? So this is why people suggest ending the friendship or else spending less time together and more time with other friends. In my situation I remained best friends with my ex for a few months and we gradually both made other friends and now we are still friends but not as clingy to one another. I didn't plan it out this way, it was just the way things worked out naturally. So, if you figure out that your ex has only friendly feelings for you then you can either end your friendship with him (which is a bit extreme in my opinion) or continue being friends while still focusing on other aspects of your life. Either way your feelings will gradually fade. It's amazing how people are able to recover from pains of the heart. I'm sure that in a few months you'll feel much better. I know it hurts a lot right now but each day that pain lessens.
Good luck and take care <3
If you need anything else I'm happy to help.
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