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How to get back to liking sex?
I lost my virginity 2 years ago, and since then I've been in terrible situations with guys. I've been violated, used, and even assaulted. Just awful memories in general. So, whenever I engage in sexual contact NOW, i feel very afraid and i get "flashbacks" to those bad times. It usually turns me off and makes it impossible to orgasm. How can I get back to thinking that sex is "good"?
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The only way to get better is to abstain from sex for a while and seek counseling. Your experiences have affected you in deep ways, even some ways that you don't realize. You will not get better by continuing to have unsatisfying, frightening sex. It sounds to me like you have some other issues to deal with as well, like why you choose men who treat you badly, and why you've been with so many in such a short amount of time. Were you abused or molested as a child? Did you witness abuse? You need to seek help now. If you don't know where to start, consult your family doctor and ask for a reference to a therapist. Or do an internet search for women's crisis centers in your neighborhood. There are many places that offer counseling services for free to women who have suffered in relationships. You're the only one who can do this for you. You have to believe you are valuable enough to deserve to get better, not for anyone else, but for yourself. It will take some tough decision-making (like abstinence, and turning your back on people who have been cruel to you), but if you really want to be well again, you will do the hard things, in order to have a healthy and productive relationship in the future.
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