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Did he change his mind?


Question Posted Tuesday April 6 2010, 9:51 pm

15/ f. I have a guy best friend, 15 as well. He is the best, he's there for me and he listens to me when I need someone to open up to. Lately, everyone has been saying we should go out, it started with just our friends telling us and now it's everybody. I just look at his actions as being friendly, I mean we were good friends for seven years now. I could be having a horrible day and I would text him and just tell me all my problems and he'd listen and help me out. When we're on the phone, he'll play songs on his guitar for me because he knows I love that (he's still to nervous to sing in front of me, though). He'll help me with my homework whenever I ask him to. I yell at him a lot because he's negative a lot, he says some positive things but he struggles with low self esteem and that kinda thing so whenever he's feeling like that, I'll tell him how great he is and everything. Now, the other day I was going through a lot of problems with my brother getting caught doing something illegal and I was going on and on and after it all I said "Sorry for dumping my horrible life on you" and he goes "horrible life! that's negative! i want to hear your problems, i want to help." I thought that was really sweet. Everyday, I bring him in a 6 pack of his favorite crackers. Lastly, I don't know if you know what the silly bandz are, they're rubber bands in shapes like flowers and hearts and giraffes, I told him I have them and he said "I'm not a big fan of things on my wrist and I brought them in the next day and he stole one from me, after he went on and on about how much he won't take one. Now, he wears it everyday. I can't bring up the topic of us going out because he's a nervous kid. I would be his first girlfriend as he would be my first boyfriend. Now, my title is because about two years ago, I told him I was kinda diggin him and he said he didn't feel the same. So, I was wondering, do you think he changed his mind? I have been pondering on us going out for a while because I could see us together but I don't want to ruin the amazing friendship we already have. What do you think? Any help is mucho appreciated! Thanks!

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DeeplySetting answered Wednesday April 7 2010, 5:12 am:
Dear Did he change is mind,

I know exactly the confusion and apprehension you feel. I have experience a very similar situation. However, let me let you in on a secret. A man WILL DO what he wants to do. You will never have to convince him. Therefore, I am not surprised at all when he said he did not feel the same. This is the reason he did not approach you about a romantic relationship. It's not that you are not a beautiful person. He may even be attracted to you. Just for some reason, he does not want to have a romantic relationship with you.

Trust me when I tell you that low self-esteem is serious and nothing you want to mess with. Believe it or not, a person with low self-esteem will feel unworthy of you. If you go against what they feel, they will hurt you. Not intentionally, It's just the way people who feel unworthy of good things operate.

Enjoy your friendship with him, because a friendship like that is difficult to find. However, take everything at face value and stop reading into the things he does. Keep your self-esteem high, and don't accept romance with anyone whose esteem is not equal to or greater than yours.

Take care,
DeeplySetting

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