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Nope I don't think he's married!!! I don't see a ring on him ever
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
More to the point, do you see his wife with him in church? Lots of married guys don't wear rings. Look, no matter what, this is a situation that has a lot of potential to blow up in your face.
1. Male pastors should NEVER EVER EVER meet alone to counsel young women. EVER. I question his judgement for doing this. As a pastor he is held to a higher standard than others. He must not conduct himself in a way that encourages rumors, whether they are true or not. Even the hint of scandal can cause his followers to fall away. That's why the Bible says a man should not lead unless he is prepared to be held accountable for every soul he shepards, because his actions can cause people to look on God with bitterness and resentment.
2. Its very common to develop feelings for someone you are counseling with, especially if you are sharing very private things. Professional therapists encounter this often and must refer clients to other therapists if they develop feelings for them. So before you get all crazy you need to ask yourself honestly about where your feelings come from.
3. Its sleazy to flirt with your pastor. Sorry. I'm not saying you're sleazy, I'm just saying that's what people think and that's what people will think about you and you can say you don't care what other people think until the s**t hits the fan and you've got no one to believe your side of the story (whatever or whenever that may be) because you've tarnished your reputation on a crush.
4.Its a pastor's job to be caring and tender. You may be misconstruing his natural affections for something more. Its nothing to be embarrassed about. A lot of young women get confused by this.
Just leave it alone. If you are truly, genuinely attracted to this guy (and he's NOT married) then cease counseling with him immediately. Ask him to refer you to an assistant pastor or other church leader. Do this during the day, with the office door open, while others are around. Avoid all suspicion. If he asks you why, just be honest... you're developing an attraction for him and you don't think its appropriate to carry on with one on one counseling because it is clouding things. You'll learn a lot about him and his feelings by how he reacts.
How do I know all this? My father is a pastor. He has always been clear about rules regarding females in his congregation, and he has always made it clear what the boundaries are. He does this because he truly cares about people and their relationship with God, and he doesn't want to ever hinder that by looking inappropriate. And because of his obedience, he is one of the most respected and honorable men I know.
So tread lightly. I'm not trying to kill your buzz, I'm just trying to keep your feet on the ground. That way you won't get so caught up that you start making decisions that are bad for you and everyone around you.
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