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How to handle a break up
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago..we were dating for about 3 months.He was my first REAL boyfriend (im 17) and it was like a real relationship where we talk and hangout and bond ALOT .So you could say for my first relationship it was pretty serious.He broke up with me because "he started to see me as a friend and i was clingy" .I had no idea this was coming so i was devastated.He went on vacation and will be back on Thursday and hasn't spoken to me since the breakup ..except one text .I've been an absolute wreck ,crying the minute i wake up,being upset most of the day and probably crying during the day and ofcourse at night too for the last 4 days. Each day is harder for me because all the songs on my ipod,we used to listen to and he used to sing to me and he would point out his favorite songs and i have to avoid listening to my ipod.I also have to avoid driving by a park we used to go to,certain words I say/he used to say,foods we used to eat all the time,games we played,movies,a whole bunch of stuff and it's so hard to avoid these things.Ive been taking advice from everyone and not speaking to him or communicating with him at all costs,(which I wrote him a letter and hope to give it to him the day after he comes back) .Ive been occupying myself very much,but even while I'm occupying myself ..i still think of him and all the good times (because we havent had many bad ones and our break up wasn't even a fight or a nasty breakup ..it was just sad).It seems like no matter how occupied or busy I am..i still think of him and get sad.I just want him back or I want to get over him.What techniques have worked to get over guys FAST? because I can't take the crying anymore!
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Hey :(.
It's going to hurt for a while sweetie. I know this pain, I felt it for honestly a few months. I know that at first it gets worse but actually after the first few weeks it gets better. I thought I was going to kill myself at first. I know it sounds extreme but it was just really unbelievable to me at the time, as I'm sure it is for you right now. The truth is that you don't expect someone who you give you heart to just give you the cold shoulder. :/ Please do not try to get him back. If he sees you as a "friend" then you know that it's over for good. This is what my ex said as well. You can't force his feelings to change back into the way they once were, so don't hurt yourself trying to. I spent a lot of time with my best friend after the break up. I also focused all my attention on school and would try to avoid my ex as much as I could. I like to knit so I did a lot of that as well. You should definitely pursue a hobby as it will help you focus your energy on something positive. And honestly, you need to complain to as many people as you can. People, especially good friends will help you so much. They remind you that you're amazing and that there is a whole wonderful world to live for. My boyfriend broke up with my in November and I'd say I've felt completely completely over him for about a month. I've heard it takes half as long as your relationship lasted for you to get over it. So for you it may take about a month and a half. Regardless of your feelings now just know that you'll feel better very soon. Just be hopeful, smile as much as you can, and reach out to anyone who is willing to listen. Take care. <3
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I know exactly how you feel. Been there. Done that. I'm sorry you guys broke up but at least now you have time to focus on yourself. You're still gonna cry but there's nothing you can do about that. I was in a funk for a really long time and the fact that my ex was friends with all of my friends an I had to see him everyday, it was worse. Don't think about all the good times, think about all if the positive things that came with the break up. Don't listen to music for a while because someway you'll find a way to relate everything to him. Hang out with people that care about you. If you have a best friend you can do what I do, have a "venting session" with him/her. Trust me, it helps A LOT. Only give him the letter if you REALLY want to. He will probably see you as someone to fall back on, which is not good. If you don't give him the letter, do NOT keep it because when you get over him you will probably wanna read it and it will just bring you back to where you are now. Statistics say it takes six months to fully get over someone but you'll be good by then [:
Btw. You're probably not clingy. A lot of guys don't understand if a girl really cares about them they want to be with him everytime they have the chance. Be patient. A better guy will come along.
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Hi :)
I'm sorry that you guys broke up, he was probably your first love, even though you guys aren't together anymore and the relationship was a coupe of months. Well, whatever you do, DO NOT go crying to him or even let him KNOW that you are crying constantly and going crazy over him. This would fit in to the 'clingy' part, and it just wouldn't help. Let me tell you, there are much more men out there dying to meet you, and you probably don't even know it! So don't stress it, he may have been your first love but he won't be the last. I understand that even though you occupy yourself, he's still in your mind, but have you tried going out with FRIENDS? FAMILY? People who love and care for you, and can make you laugh and smile. Go to the movies, watch movies at friends' house. Have sleepovers! Meet new people as friends, get to know them. Trust me, another guy will come along and sweep you off your feet. It always happens. Also keep in mind, the next guy you meet can be the one, or maybe 10 guys from now. So don't have high expectations, but don't lower them severely either lol. I suggest getting new songs on your ipod and burning that letter you wrote, they'll just make you reminisce about the past, and we don't want that. Good luck!!!
Uniq :)
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I'm really sorry for what happened. Well if there was no fight, no bad times in the relationship but still your boy friend broke up with you, it means that he doesn't feel like the way he felt anymore. And if that's the case then you should get over him. Since it's your first relationship I understand the pain. You don't have to try forgetting everything. Think of it as an experience, remember the good times. If you think you have done some mistakes, don't repeat them. If it's over then it's over for your good. It takes time but stop yourself from crying, hang out and enjoy with your friends. It's not your mistake, don't cry, waste precious days of your life. Try smiling for small things and feel happy for them.
Hope this helps you.
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