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bad relationship
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a litle over three years and just last week he told me that he thinks we need a break. He says that he's not happy anymore and that for the time we've been together he's felt tied down like he couldnt do anything.
Recently he has also been texting this girl that we went to high school with and when I ask him he says there just friends. We have an apartment together and he no longer stays home he's always out partying with his friends and this girl. I found a text message on his phone about him staying at this girls house and passing out in the same bed but when i asked him he swears on his life that there only friends, he has no feelings for her and that he would never do anything with her.
He also can't tell me that he loves me anymore or if he wants to try and make things work. He says that when I change and stop being so contolling then he'll try to fix things with me but I have to prove that I've changed first.
I really love this guy so much he's my best friend and the only person I have in my life. My parents are divorced and no longer talk to me much because its always a battle of who I like more.I am 19 and female and I know I have a long life ahead of me but hes my high school sweetheart and the on for me. What should I do? Am i to insecure? Do i break up with him or just give him space for a while? Im so confused I don't know what to do anymore.
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Hi there,
I guess you really need to work out for yourself, are you controlling of his actions? If you are then perhaps you might be a bit insecure.
Your guy probably feels like he needs to live his own life and not worry about anyone else but himself. 3 years is a long time to be with someone, he might just feel like he needs to be with his friends sometimes.
At this stage I would find out what he really wants. There is no point him going out and partying with his friends and passing out in other girls beds if he's not going to come back to you in the end. Find out from him if he really wants to be with you or not!
If he doesn't want to be with you then I guess unfortunately he's not going to come back.
However, if he feels like he needs to do whatever it is he thinks is right, then let him! Ground rules will need to be set without being to over powering.. No passing out in other girls beds.. friends or not!
You have to ask yourself, is it time to move on? Is it time to also live your life? As you said, you have your whole life ahead of you and right now your in a messy situation but.. in 5 years time, will this matter?
Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best!
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I hate that...when you're life at one point seems so calming and then all of a sudden...something happens and it seems your life is crashing. This situation sounds a lot like my best friend's situation at the moment and its hard for her too. She as had a high school sweetheart and they were together for fours years. Your situation seems a bit more serious especially because you're living with him and you've been with him for over three years. A lot of guys feel guilty for going out at times because they feel bad that they aren't spending time with their girlfriends...but at the same time they aren't having time with their good guy friends. It seems to be a battle for guys I've always thought that guys have bad time management...my current boyfriend for example...VERY poor time management!
Anyway I think what you NEED to do is sit back and think. Give him space...and have him give you some as well...figure out what you really want. You're only 19...this is the time when you figure out what you want in life. We don't choose who we're with it just happens. My ex boyfriend were together for a year and a half and I'm not going to lie I thought he was the one for me and it broke my heart when we split up. I realzie though that he wasn't the one for me and that I'm young and that there is so much in life. If he wants to take a break you as his best friend should follow his wishes. The break though should be a time when you don't comment on things that he maybe doing or worrying about girls that he's hanging out with. If anything sit down with him and tell him that you guys need to figure out what exactly this "break" is going to be like. Such as..."Can you see other people?" "Can I kiss someone else?" etc.....
A suggestion I would make is hang out with friends and get your mind off it I know its hard believe...I know! My parents are divorced as well and I wish I could get away from their drama btu right now its now possible. You don't seem insecure to me...but maybe making new friends or hanging out with other people might be best. You need to sit back and relax for right now and figure what you want...your heart maybe telling you something but you have to use your head and think about what you want. If on this break he's being unreasonable if I were you I would break up with him. If you want this to work I would try and talk to him and then let him figure out things for himself! I hope everything works out for you! Hang in there and stay strong! :) I'm here to talk if you need me! (Im me sometime if you need to talk itend2rawk)
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