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erectile disfunction?
Hey guys. So the other night I was with my boyfriend and he asked for a blowjob. When he took off his pants, I noticed he wasn't hard (which was weird because we'd been hooking up for a while, and he had been feeling me up and stuff). But I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Then I started giving him a blowjob and he wouldn't get hard. I tried everything and when he did get hard, it wouldn't be completely hard and it would only last like.. maybe 30 seconds to a minute. I was doing this for about 25 minutes total. At first he said "sorry, I've masturbated like 3 times today". But later, when I asked him if there was anything I could have done better, he was like "I prefer when you're more naked". Regardless of how clothed I was, I was giving him a blowjob.. he should have been able to sustain an erection, right? I've never had this problem before, and I'm wondering if it's an underlying problem? Thanks so much
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Haha. This question makes me laugh.
To counter Rahzie, the guy's response.
Nerves are very, very likely. It sounds like the first time you two did anything together, he was undoubtedly kind of apprehensive, if nothing else being worried about rejection. After, three times getting himself off can definitely have the effect described. Being tired (you said night) can also have a big effect on performance.
Masturbation three times in a day isn't all that abnormal, especially for a guy who isn't having sex. Its highly likely that he "prepares" himself to be around you so that he isn't thinking about his dick the entire time he's with you. Male teenaged hormones can be annoyingly persistent and overpoweringly strong. Keeps us from staring at your cleavage and imagining you naked all night. Well, it doesn't stop us, but it makes us able to concentrate on other things while we do it.
Just tell him to leave himself alone the next time you're supposed to spend a night together, and everything will probably go fine. You gotta figure that its going to take time to figure each other out, sex is a skill after all.
Rahzie, either you've dated some fairly uptight or religious guys in the past, or they smell judgement and lie their asses off. Beating off twice a day is not uncommon for a guy who's actually getting laid regularly. For a teen who isn't, three times before a date to keep himself sane is really pretty normal.
Its true, you expect your guys to keep themselves ready for you.
I'm also pretty sure you don't spent a few months progressing through the making out, fingering, oral, and then sex stages. These kids aren't working from a fully adult relationship standpoint where once the clothes come off everything goes.
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If he had actually masturbated three times already that day, then no, it's not surprising at all that he wouldn’t stay erect. It would have nothing to do with you; his body would just not have another erection in it for a while. Even a teenage boy at his peak would be unlikely to have a fourth or fifth orgasm in a day.
What IS surprising is:
ONE. He masturbated THREE times already that day. Is he employed? Does he go to school? Doesn't he have other things to do? I'm sorry, I'm not a guy, but I do try to be honest and listen honestly to the men I've dated, and three times is a lot even for a really boring, rainy, Sunday. Three times and I start to worry that a guy is missing out on other important things in life because he's sitting at home and wanking... Three times could be indicative of a problem.
TWO. He didn’t explain this to your upfront?! Like, immediately. He just let you desperately work away for a while before bothering to mention it? He didn’t try to prevent you from being embarrassed and confused and even feeling like a failure? That wasn’t kind or respectful of him to do. It was actually a bit mean not be honest about what was going on up front, and to let you suffer through your confusion and discomfort by yourself for a half hour. That was an asshole thing to do, and THEN he told you he’d like it more if you were naked. What a fucking little dweeb.
THREE. Call me crazy, but I do actually expect my partner to not sexually exhaust themselves before they hang out with me. That’s just part of being in a sexual relationship with someone else, and respecting their desires and needs a bit. If we are going to have sex that night, I think it’s fair to expect my partner not to make it really hard work for us both by masturbating repeatedly early that day. Obviously, sometimes you don’t know or plans have to change, but if my boyfriend said ‘Can I have a blowjob. Oh by the way I’ve masturbated three times already today so I probably won’t even stay erect” I would probably say “No. Where is the fun in that for me if you’ve worn yourself out completely and make it damn difficult for me when we are together?!”
The underlying problem here is you are a dating jerk who might have a messed up masturbation habit. Get a bit angry with him and let him know that if he wants sexual favors from you, he ought to have the respect to save a bit of himself for you. To do otherwise and confusing, embarrassing and disheartening. He isn’t going to get many blow jobs if he takes a woman for granted like that.
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