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i have friends, but i dont have a "group"
I'm a junior in high school and i think i have a lot of friends. i'm not popular. but i'm not like a complete loner who has no friends. i have a lot of friends but i'm not like SUPER good friends with them. like say for example, there's an event going on, nobody asks me if i want to go with them, because they already have a group of friends to go with.
I really need advice on what to do.. i dont have trouble 'making' friends per say.. i just need advice on what to do because most of my friends belong with other groups of friends whom i dont know. and most of my friends dont know my other friends. what do i do? By my senior year, i want to have a kick ass year without worrying about which friends are my true friends.
my best friend who lives in a different state than me, told me that i need to throw a party and introduce all of my friends to each other.. i would do that except i SUCK at planning. every party or event i've planned, has turned into dirt and gone down the drain. i can't plan something for my life.. so what do i do??
please i'm desperate.. i've been feeling like this for a looong time since 7th grade and i'm sick of feeling like this. i keep telling myself that things are going to change and that this wont happen again, but it does. helpppp
thank you
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You know while reading what you wrote; you, yourself gave me a perfect idea.
You mentioned ' i would do that except i SUCK at planning', well you can go up to your 'friends' and ask them to help you plan the party and that way you can get close to those friends plus do a very sucessful nice party you would enjoy.
Good Luck =]
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First of all, I think that you need to stop viewing your feelings as being negative. You say things such as "I'm desperate" and "I'm sick of feeling like this". However, these feelings that you are complaining about are probably going to be beneficial for you in the long run.
Think about it. What exactly are you feeling right now? Lonliness? Confusion as to who your real friends are? Fear that you may not find out? Frustration at not knowing who your true friends are?
While these may seem like negative emotions, they are actually pushing you to do a very good thing. They are motivating you to take a deeper look at your friendships. They are challenging you to take another look at your life so that you can improve the quality of your relationships. In other words, you may be uncomfortable with the way you are feeling right now, but your feelings are in no way negative. They are guiding you towards more meaningful friendships.
In other words, listen to your feelings. You obviously have a desire to develop your friendships further and create more meaningful relationships with others. The question is, which relationships do you want to put effort into? Who do you believe are the special people that you want to devote your time and energy to? Who do you want to get to know better?
When making these kinds of decisions, it is often best to discard all of that clique crap that you were talking about earlier. Who cares if some of your friends are friends with other groups? Who cares if you do not belong to a specific group yourself?
Relationships are between INDIVIDUALS. The way one person feels about another is what counts. Groups and cliques do not matter. For example, there can be people within a group that absolutely despise one another. At the same time, people from different groups can love one another profoundly. In other words, groups are illusory. Do not worry about them. What matters is how you feel for each specific individual that you encounter.
So, think about the individuals that you know. Who sparks your interest the most? Who do you want to get to know better? Who do you want to spend more time with?
Decide. Then, go for it :)
Good luck.
If you have any more questions, or would just like to talk more about love, relationships, etc., please feel free to message me on twitter:
@wecareaboutlove
Also, on a side note, Valentine's Day is coming up! If one of the people you want to get to know better is a romantic interest, you may want to check out my blog:
www.wecareaboutlove.blogspot.com
...Heck, even if you don't have a romantic interest, please check it out :) We are having a conversation about Valentine's Day and any inseights or ideas that you have on the holiday would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
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