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My issue with alcohol affecting my relationship
I have an issue with alcohol, no im not an alcoholic but i truly HATE alcohol. My mom is a recovering alcoholic, and ive been through so much because of alcohol. So many bad things that have happend in my life, are because of alcohol to the point where i hate anything to do with alcohol. Ive had my fair share of alcohol, but i realize i cannot drink it because i get too carried away.
Well, my boyfriend is in college and when he goes out, i get really upset. And i know he is in college, and that is what he is going to do to spend time with his friends. I know it is ridiculous for me to care so much, but i do. I bring the issues i have with alcohol into my relationship, and its a problem.
Any advice on how to cope with this? Tips that i can use to get over it?
Thanks
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I know you're worried...been there and done that. I didn't like alcohol much or how my past boyfriends use to drink so much and get carried away. At the end of the day he's going to do what he wants and if that means going out and drinking with his friends than so be it. If you really don't like what he's doing than you need to walk away if it really bothers you that much. I think you're scared he's going to turn into an alcoholic but you should trust him and his judgements. Afterall he is in college and I know it may sound stereotypical but college is somewhat about partying and socializing. You need to consider his feelings as well though you need to realize that when he hangs out with that group that he's going to drink. It doesn't necessarily mean he's going to become an alcoholic. If he drinks everyday just to function than he's an alcoholic but if he's doing socially than its fine. I suggest going to talk to someone though because its been rough for me. I have some alcoholics in my family and its hard to deal I know but talking to someone is helpful. I also have been reading books as well which has been a useful tool of coping.
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I totally get where your coming from, a social drink gone wrong can turn ugly bringing pain and misery to the drinker and the people close to them. If one drinks to passout stage that's alcholism sorry but it's true this is why alchoholics are in so much denial they think it's o.k. or under control. if you experience black outs that's the result of brain damage. Having said all that
you can't change people you can only change yourself.
There is an organisation in Australia called
Al-anon which specificly targets the people who's lives are affected by the person with the problem of drink be it a few or too many. they teach people how to live your life around the alcholic or heavy drinker to gain greater meaning to their own life. If you cannot deal with the life of a drinker then look for a boyfriend who does not drink or has a small intake such as special occassions only. An athlete fits this catagory. the more you hassle your boyfriend about his consumption the more justified he feels to have another drink and another. He's living his life his way so you find a way to live your life your way. you really need a guy who can go without drinking to meet your standards. A drinker will never make you happy because you carry too much bagage from your mother's past drinking days. It won't be any different with him than it was with her believe me. I hope this is of some help Good luck
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