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What is going on in her mind? Is there a chance of her coming back?
(M, 24)My girlfriend broke up with me recently after a 3 year relationship. She brought up moving in together and engagement regularly, I wanted the same, I loved her very much and wanted to spend my life with her (she knew this). However, I was paying off loans and did not have the money to take that step yet. She knew that I would be done with them in 2 months and could then proceed. We were all set to go on a trip together with friends which had been planned out for a few months and she was really excited about it. She had just started a new job and had been there a week, I noticed her not talking as much as before. We talked and she said she may not want those things anymore. By the end of the weekend everything seemed fine considering it ended with her suggesting more places we could live as well as saying she loved me and acting normal, 5 days later she calls me at 2am after a night out with her co-workers, I had been waiting all night to drive out and see her she tells me that she doesn't have the same feelings for me and it's over and she wasn't going on the trip even though it was days away. She said when she was out a co-worker kissed her and she felt something and a bunch of little issues had built into big things and she was unhappy (I didn't see at all nor did my family and friends especially considering she was one to tell me exactly how she felt). I was crushed and have no idea how it just ended so quickly after everything we shared and seemingly being so in love and excited about the future. Is this a work infatuation? Does she still have feelings but is pursuing other things on impulse? Why would she call me her soul mate and best friend days before and then end things? Was she just giving lip service in saying all this to me even though she appeared to be sincere in her feelings? I apologize for the story but I am really hurt and clueless about the woman I thought I would spend forever with and who appeared to want the same up until now. Thank you
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That's so awful! Now, you need to talk to this chick. She seems to be VERY confused. You have to consider she could have been under the influence of acohol and her senses weren't acting normal, thus when this co-worker kiss her she could have began to feel something that wasn't really there. I hope my feedback helps you and goodluck.
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im sorry :[ this must be very hard for you.
But considering I'm a girl, I think I can help you understand a little bit about what she most likely is thinking and what lead to her abrupt decision.
... girls are complicated and we're really emotional and usually, if we're in a relationship, we don't want to hurt our significant others feelings when in love or when in a long relationship [as yours was] when she started becoming distant and not talking as much at one point, it was most likely because she was thinking about the future by herself, without you because she wanted her own thoughts and not the ones of you.. after she was thinking, she became herself again [as you said] and you didnt see anything wrong with her.. this is either the result of her realizing that she would rather stay with you than with anyone else. then.. when the night out with the co-workers came around, and she kissed another man, she noticed she had feelings for him.
thats when her decision to break up with you came about because she most likely knew that you didnt deserve that.. you dont deserve to be with someone who isnt 100% committed to you. so in her mind, she was trying not to hurt you, but being honest enough so that you wouldnt be left wondering why she left you.
and those issues .. could have been her own feelings. like this was all building up and the issue of you not being able to pay for a couple months might have contributed to her unhappiness. but i also think she became unhappy because she knew that you guys were not going to be together, and she didnt want to hurt you, but knew it was inevitable.
I do not think that it is a work infatuation. I think it is her not being able to be committed to you the way she would have liked to been. and if she has been working with this guy she kissed, it may not have been "acting on impulse" the feelings for him could have arised over time.. and thats why she was so distant at one point, thinking about her options.. pros and cons.
The sad thing is, people change and feelings change. I do not, at all, think that your relationship for 3 years was just "lip service" if that was what she intened, she would not have been with you for that long. and she was confused, she needed to sort out her feelings, and she didnt want to hurt you by not acting like herself.. and if calling you her soulmate was the norm for both of you, then that is what she was going to do to save you from hurt or worry for the time being.
I'm sorry you had to go through this.. and i know it must really suck :[ :[ but it will get better. maybe talk to her about it, because my assumptions are just that.. assumptions from the information you gave advicenators. the only way you'll get your answers are if you ask her yourself.
good luck ! hope i helped and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo.
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