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Fiance does not want to sleep in the same bed...


Question Posted Monday December 28 2009, 6:13 am

25 f

hey everyone i need some advice. I got engaged to my fiance about 4months ago. We were asked to go down to Mexico for a missions trip which meant me uprooting and moving in with him because we had no idea how long we would be gone and i wouldn't be able to afford my apartment. well we came back and I have been moved in. It has been very hectic because it is not just the 2 of us in the house. it is him and i, my fiance's younger brother, his girlfriend (which also just moved in), and another roommate. Now my fiance Allan and I have been together for almost 2 years but we are waiting til marriage before we have sex, It is our own choice, but we have been sleeping in the same bed for a long time. Different story w/ his younger brother though, but to each is their own.Suddenly last week his brother declared that he is going to sleep out on the couch bed in the living room so he and his girlfriend are not tempted to have sex and so they can be closer to God. Little late for that with them I think it is ridiculous because he basically booted himself out of his own room in his own house. So he is sleeping out in the living room while everyone else in the house now has to be quiet coming and going through the house.

Well on the 23rd which was my 25th BIRTHDAY Allan tells me he admires what his brother did and wants TO DO THE SAME THING!!!! Now we had discussed BEFORE I moved in if he was going to be comfortable with me moving in with sleeping arrangements. But NOW after seeing what his brother did he tells me I am too tempting and he needs to do the same. Now we have never had sex, but he tells me now he also wants to sleep out on the couch. so now him and his brother SHARE the couch bed while we are in the beds. I think that is really ridiculous because I did not move in to have this happen. It is not right. What should I do? What should I say? Should I move out?I really need ALOT of input because I have never been in this kind of situation. Thank you very much


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Smartone answered Wednesday December 30 2009, 12:41 am:
Obviously, he and his brother feel this is a good way to avoid temptation and have the strength to follow through with their convictions.

He doesn't trust himself in bed with you. Why should he? He's only human.

I say respect his choice and be proud of him for not wanting to put you in a compromising position. He is showing respect for you.

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Lilz answered Monday December 28 2009, 5:44 pm:
Sit him down and tell him that you didn't move in to have this happen. If you guys trusted each other that long then you should have no problems. Tell him everything that you you wrote. Your about to get married you have to start off honest and be able to obstain everything that is about to happen.



Lillian

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