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Starting Over...Is it just as hard as ever?
I've met someone fabulous and who I think I may have fallen for. We ar both in our 40's, met on the internet, exchanged a few e-mails regularly for almost 2 months, until I had enough nerve to finally call him and we've hit it off pretty good. Although I have dated a few men since divorcing a man after 20 years, this man seemed so different from all others. How often do we find special ones who are only intrersted in what is on the inside more than on the outside? This guy is one of those types. He didn't care what I looked like. When we finally met in person, we hit it off very well, because I fell attracted to him. He called daily afterwards, even when he was out of town for a week with friends. He even told me that he loved me and he could be mine if I wanted. It was a bit awkward initially, but I replied, "I could see that happening down the road if things worked out for us". I told him about something traumatic that happened to me on his way back home from his out of town trip and I think my honesty may have un-nerved him for his calls stopped and when I called him to find out why--asking also if he had a change of heart and if I should back off, he claimed that he has just been very busy with "end-of-the-year" stuff to wrap up and they must be priority right now(he is a small business owner). He said that he will call me back. He returned a couple, but never initiated any calls. He has taken some of my calls and has remained very brief, stating that he will call back because he is busy...but hasn't yet.(last call to him was 5 nights ago) I am still hopeful for he did say that he will call back, but am hurt, confused, devastated and scared to lose someone special. What do you think may have happened all of the sudden? Could all of this be coincidental and everything he is saying is indeed the truth? I don't know...
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It sounds like you may have made him a little nervous when you shared such a private trauma withvhim. You don't hint at what it was, but if it was something that may have left you with emotional scars he may be worried he's bitten off more than he can chew. But that doesn't mean he won't get over it and keep moving forward with you. But it does mean that he may need a little time to process it and come to terms with how deep your relationship may be getting. Men are different, they don't always want to talk things out like us women. He may just need space and he's trying to do it without hurting you by being blunt about it. You've already made the calls, he knows you are expecting a call back. Leave it to him at this point, even though you are anxious to talk to him again. You have to give him some breathing room or you may make him even more nervous. This will be hard, but give it until Christmas. If he doesn't start calling back by then, call him one more time and ask him if what you shared scared him in some way. You deserve an honest answer and need to know one way or the other where things are going. And who knows, maybe the time apart will help him realize that he misses you. Good Luck.
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I usually give people the benefit of the doubt...but in this case I wouldn't. Telling him about the traumatic experience may have scared him off. If I was you I would call him and ask him if that's what happened. He said he loved you for who you are on the inside, and that traumatic experience helped make you who you are. If he can't accept your honesty about what happened then he doesn't deserve you.
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