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Distance
My Significant other and I have been together for 4 and a half years. He recently just got layed off at his job an talked to a friend that is living in South Carolina doing construction an offered him to go. Which that is cool minus the fact that it's very distant and I would only be able to see him on the weekends. He told me that he would put me in a house in our hometown where we live now an come home to me on the weeknds an I told him I was scared to be in a place all by myself if it wasn't safe and he said he wanted me to come to South Carolina then which is cool but what about me? We've been together 4 and a half years an I am supposed to quit my job an come live with you an support me...but with no commitment as in ring , marriage nothing like that? Not to mention if we do move we have to live with his friend, which I don't want to be on the back burner an he has his friend there with him but what about me? We've been through alot together and just don't think I am ready to be distant from him an if I do move there with him what commitment do I have with him ? He thinks I am trying to rush it, but honestly I tell him to put himself in my shoes, I am patient an have always had his back in anything he does, but me quitting my job an him supporting me because of his "word" I am supposed to do so...which half the time he has all these big plans that never happen anyway? I don't know I am really confused an would like to know if I am rushing anything but I don't think a commitment is too much to ask for after 4 and a half years, an he said a ring isn't s*** and doesn't do anything, and that he isn't ready to marry me right now because he cant even support himself, so I don't know what to think!?
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I think you DO know what to think, you just don't like the answer that's coming up. He's already told you he doesn't want to marry you (for now) and you've made it clear you don't want to make such a drastic move without a solid commitment (by the way, that is a VERY smart way to look at it, and it says a lot about your character). It may hurt (a lot), but you know that by moving with him he is asking you to give far more than he is willing to give in return. Is the price you will pay to drop everything and move in with him and his friend going to be worth it? Moving away doesn't have to mean the end. It can mean the beginning of something great. Although it will of course be hard, maybe the time apart will help him realize how much he does love you and want be with you forever. Maybe it will help you to become clear on some issues you are dealing with. Regardless, I think it is best for you to stay put, and let him go. And pay attention to his words. He is giving you a fair warning. He sounds like he's been very honest with you, which, in a way, you have to respect. He said he can't support himself, so he can't support you. At least he's honest about that, and you do NOT want to go into a marriage without the proper financial support. Marriage is hard enough without having to deal with that stuff right away too. And he knows an engagement/commitment is important to you, yet he says a ring isn't s***. I think what he's saying is that it isn't s*** to HIM, and that should tell you a lot. Let him go do what he needs to do. If he comes back to you, ready for a commitment, it was meant to be. If not, there is definitely someone out there waiting for a loyal and level-headed girl like you to come along and blow his socks off.
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