|
I dont want to loose her
18/m
college student
I love my girlfriend. we've been together for a year or so. I have always put her before me. I want her to be happy. I want to take care of her when she needs it and give her consolation when she's sad. we were best friends before we were in a relationship. we live several states apart and always have. the first time I was with her for a decent amount of time was July '09. I'm visiting her in ~40 days.
lately I have felt lost and havent felt that excitement I always felt when I thought about her. it will come back for about a week but then ill be bumming for a few days. its been off and on for ~1 month.
I started to feel better about it today. I felt bad earlier this morning but she texted "I need you to be strong for me" and I just kind of snapped out of it. I sent a huge message to her telling her about how it was all going to be alright. I felt alot better about it after that and although I felt a little empty in the back of my mind, I overall did a pretty good job of not thinking about it. we had a really good conversation. you were right. It really was that I just miss her. but I'm starting to fall back into the feeling again. I tried calling her and saying I love you over and over but I still just felt a little empty. I cant get rid of it and its eating me up. I really do love her. I know I do. but now is just idk.
I never questioned the foundations of our relationship before but several people have told me that long distance doesnt work and that maybe I want to date other people and Im starting to beleive them. I dont want to! I want my girlfriend. Im in college and theres lots of other girls whom I find attractive, and I crush on them every once in a while, but I know that after a year or so, I wouldnt be as happy with them as I have been with my girlfriend. I have so much in common with her. music, politics, style, viewpoints, everything. but I just find myself thinking about these other girls. I just want to love my girl and not crush on anyone else. how do I get rid of these doubts? I never felt like this before but now I feel like other people have pushed these negative thoughts into my mind. how do I focus on her? I love her. I miss her. i need her. I was so happy with her before all this and I dont want to throw what we have away for some silly crush. please help me.
have you been in a working long-distance relationship before?
have you ever felt this?
im so lost.
-M
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Good evening.
I'd recommend you just sit down and ask yourself what really matters to you. You've been with her for a year, thats actually quite a long time especially since you two are doing distance. Hormones will drive a stake into your chest and you'll never be able to live with yourself should you "inter-act" with one of these other women. Now.. I'd say a good phone call is in order. Talk with her, plan for your future, I know you love this girl, so think of the long term advantages of spending your future with her. It doesn't really seem like you two have many problems at all. I'm only three years older than you, but I can definitely say that I've been in the same situation. I enlisted in the Navy at age 18 and I pissed away my relationship. I tell you this because I don't want anyone else making the same mistakes I did. You have something very valuable to you, anytime you start having doubts, don't just let them lie dormant in your mind. Call her up to reassure yourself that the reward is on the other end of the phone.
If anyone ever plants any thoughts in your head, tell them to go fuck off. You're better than that. I know you are.
]
Hey there,
It sounds as if you have met your perfect girl. Thats one in a billion zillion million.. I can imagine what you are going through.
Hearing her voice or reading her text messages is what keeps you going. Everyone needs someone who is loving and will always be there for you. I think knowing that she is still rooting for you, even though shes not physically there, is what keeps you strong. I know what it is like to want to be with a special someone forever. I know what it is like to need to be with someone, hold someone, love someone, and be loved. It is not the easiest thing and no matter what, you just have to keep communicating with that person, stay positive, chin up, never stop your leisure activities, and never let go of your closest friends. If you truly love someone.. do not let ANYBODY stop you from being with them.
If you know her well and already know she loves you, then don't let that go. Keep reminding yourself she will always be there for you. Text her, tell her how much you miss her, tell her you love her everyday (and I mean EVERYDAY!), never hold back or she may never know how you truly feel inside.
I believe this girl is the luckiest girl alive to have such a wonderful, caring, sweet, kind, guy like you.
Do not let any guy or girl get in your way. You don't need them. Just her. And she will only know that if you continue to try. Keep contact and always always communicate. Even if its a simple 'Hi there' or 'I was thinking about you' or 'how are you feeling today?'.
Its the simple things that mean the most. In any relationship. Follow your heart <3
]
More Questions: |