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Overwhelmed!
22/F
I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, and thought I was over all of it. Went back to school, things were going well. I'm not on medication or seeing anyone right now, since my psychiatrist dumped me due to being overloaded, and my medication was zombifying me.
I got swine flu and was away from school sick for a week, plus I didn't really recover until another week after that. I've been slipping behind in schoolwork, which is depressing me, which is making me slip more.
Basically, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm behind in everything; I have 3 labs and an assignment overdue in one class, another 2 in another class, an essay in another class.
I feel like my life is falling apart all over again, even after I tried so hard to get this second chance. I'm worried that I'm always going to be a depressed failure in life.
How do I pull out of this cycle and pass university? I'm even scared to go to class now, because my professors are judging me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You were on the wrong type of medication and with the wrong doctor. I'll be blunt you do have a mental illness--depression and there's no BS diagnoses there.
I don't understand that even if he had too many clients why he wouldn't hand you to a colleague. Are you sure it went down like that? Very strange as no psychiatrist I know of outright ditches a client.
Your BIG problem is that you stopped taking medication of any kind. A lot of people think "hey I'm fine" when in fact the medication is the very thing keeping them together. Going off of it completely on your own leads to being overwhelmed and unable to function. It will only get worse.
Yes, some of the medication made you feel zombie like but it's clear some of it was helping you. It's your responsibility to write down how it's affecting you at school, work, life and make sure the doctor adjusts your levels accordingly.
What you need to do is make an appointment with those professors and more importantly the person in charge of your program and tell them that you have a mental illness, medication is making you zombie like and you can't function.
Ask them if they'll put an INCOMPLETE rather than an F next to your name and allow you to resume study when you are well. They have to do that.
You aren't a failure in life you're just clinically depressed. You will feel better once you have the right medication levels and ill function.
It's a recovery process that comes in chunks and setbacks much like addiction. You have to find the right doctor, the right medication through trial and error and eventually it all clicks. If you go off meds on your own no matter how you feel you're back at 0 and in the state you are now.
This leads me to my next point. I won't sugarcoat this as i've been there before. Do yourself a HUGE favor and go to an Emergency Room and explain you feel like a zombie, can't function, went off meds and have NO psychiatrist treating you.
Allow them to find you the right doctor and right medication so you can eventually function normally. You owe it to yourself to do that and allow yourself time to be hospitalized until they can fix it which is usually a few weeks. Tell your program coordinator that you're leaving the program temporarily to do this. They'll make things so you can return without penalty.
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I also struggled, seriously, with anxiety throughout university. So, I hope you can forgive me, because this advice isn't going to be sugar coated. It just is what it is.
First, know that very few of your profs aren’t judging you.
Most of them don't give flying fuck if you pass or fail, or if you are a good person or a bad person.
If you are judging you, it’s for like 5 seconds. They don’t have more time than that to waste on it.
So, stop sweating that, as much as you can.
Now, as for what to do:
Send them each an e-mail.
Explain that you have been struggling with your mental health since returning to school (that sentence, right there "I have been struggling with my mental health since returning to school." is ALL you need to say). Explain that in addition to that you have missed and struggled this month due to swine flu...
All this 'explanation' shouldn't take more than 150 words, at very most.
It's not the important part of this e-mail.
This next part is the important part, and should take up most of the e-mail.
Express your own unhappiness and anxiety about the difficulty you are having.
Express your desire to be successful and turn around your performance in their class.
Write down EXACTLY what projects or assignments you have missed, or feel you will not complete on time.
It’s a very good idea, if you are able to say when you feel you’d be able to complete major assignments, include that.
Tell them you understand that they might not be able to make any expectations for you, but that you’d be very grateful for any allowances, or advice they might have for you on what should be completed first.
Finally, thank them, and let them know you can make yourself available to meet them in person if they’d like.
This might not work, but at very least, your teachers will know that you are struggling, and that you are interested in doing better, and open to advice and feedback on how to do better.
But after you express this, you have to follow up on it. That means take their advice. Maybe work on the assignments for the teacher who is the most hard-assed first. Go to class.
I found, when I got really overwhelmed, it was really great for me to just say these sorts of e-mails out loud to a friend, and have them type them up. That was really helpful and got the e-mails sent out much faster, ‘cause my friends would only put up with my shit for so long.
I feel like I could just go on writing here, but finally, you should find out if your school has any counsellors available. Most universities do. They won’t be as thorough or as deeply trained as your physiatrist was, but they might help you have someone to talk to in the meantime.
Best of luck!
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