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public assistance
ok...so I am 18 and pregnant. The baby's father just kinda walked out. I have a plan...I am going to live with my mom (and yes, she's aware), I have two jobs and am saving up.
My question is do you guys have any suggestions on where I can get more assistance both in the form of food and financially?
I am already in the process of applying for food stamps, health care for the baby, and WIC.
Thanks much!
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Hi honey,
I am wishing you well, and I hope you are up for this. It will be a lot of work, but it can be very rewarding. You won't be the first, or the last, but you can be a success. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Once the baby is born, you should also be eligible for assistance with day care. You should be able to apply for that at the same place that you applied for the food stamps and WIC. It would help to know what state you live in. There is the Federal Family Medical Leave act, if you work for an employer that has more than 50 employees. They have to allow you (I think) up to 13 weeks of 'unpaid' leave when you have your baby. I am not sure of the number of weeks, I think it is 13. give or take a week. In any event. they HAVE to give you back your job when you are ready to return to work. If your employer has less than 50 employees, then they are not obligated.
But you can look into the assisted day care even if you don't have a job once the baby is born.
If you do or can go back to work after the baby is born, I suggest you look for a place that does have more than 50 employees since you may have to take time off for bringing the baby to the doctor for well care visits and shots. And they can't fire you for that, under the Federal Family Medical Leave act.
The other thing is, that if you apply for welfare, you will have to give them the name and address of the father. Your state will go after him for child support. he won't be able to work a regular job without having his pay attached to pay the state back for providing you with assitance. Don't worry about it. let him pay. It is the least he can do.
There are also program that provide diapers. Not sure which but look into that. You are going to spend a FORTUNE on diapers.
One more thing. If you decide to go back to school, I mean go to college. Well there is a lot of financial aid for single moms. Look into it.
You sound like a smart girl, One who is strong and can handle hard times and difficult situations, you'll do just fine. And improving yourself is almost a guarantee that your child will have a better life. And go on to college themself.
Let me give you one more piece of advice. Do not have any more children, until or unless you are married, and even then not for five years of marriage. It is hard enough raising one child by yourself. Don't make your life harder by having another child.
Also, don't look back on your life and have regrets. You still have years and years of life and love and enjoyment ahead of you. Stay strong, keep moving forward. You'll be just fine.
Oh and one other thing (of course...can you tell I've been there) Your child will be knowing and watching everything you do. Long before you realize it, you are setting an example. Be the parent that you would have wanted to have yourself. Both mother and father. Be the parent that you would want your son or daughter to be. Because he/she will be watching everything you do, and some day will act just like you. It is true what they say in the commercias. "you are not their friend, you are their parent. You might think that punishing them or being hard on them will make them hate you. God, no. they love you to death. They may not like what you are saying at the time, but too bad. They WILL get over it.
Think of the future. Do you want to be proud of your child some day. Then be a parent. Set a good example. That old corny saying is really true ( that is why they call them old corny sayings) The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Hope this helps.
Good luck to you dear.
Michele
PS: my boys are 20 and 24. I miss holding them up in my arms, while they looked at the world and smiled.
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