|
humorist-workshop
How to "act like a girlfriend"
My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me last week. At first it was almost unbearable and I was a total wreck. But the second day I knew I had to talk to him, so I did. The number one reason he broke up with me is because he said that his love for me had disappeared. He was in love with me at one point, but somehow he just doesn't feel that way anymore. He just sees me as a friend. This part I understand.
BUT i don't understand what he means by me not "really acting like a girlfriend". I mean, I would try to. I kissed him in public, hugged him, told him I loved him, made him gifts, held his hand, and spent most of my time with him. I thought I was doing an okay job, but apparently he says that I'm "not capable of having a relationship". But he says that he doesn't want me to change for him. But I'm still wondering what he meant. Any ideas? :/
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
he either a)thinks you're emotionally frigid or b) wants some sex.
who knows? maybe he likes one of those clingy cuddlebunny kind of girls, or just wants some sex.
fuck it. every dude has different ideas about the perfect chick, mine happens to be an independent felinesque cuddlebunny wanton sex goddess.
to each his own. don't get discouraged.
-Gunner
]
Honey-
First. I think it was wonderful and brave you went and talked too him. It's hard thing to get up the guts and show a little courage when broken hearted.
About the way he said his love disappeared for you: I think with every relationship that we come in and out of and through the broken hearts.. we should not take the relationships that didn't work out as a failure on our part, or anyone's part. Take it as being given a chance to start over new and find the someone that you will be with forever. Because if you were meant to be with that person, you still would be. And if you weren't.. and you stayed with them still.. you would spend your life without that One you were meant for and instead be miserable.
Each relationship we come out of is one step closer toward finding who we will love forever, one more chance to be with that person.
Now about your case in particular....
From what I can tell.. it sounds like he fell out of love with you like he said and he's trying to place guilt on you. If he's being honest and giving constructive criticism.. I guess all I can say is that if he's right and you weren't being a good girlfriend,
a relationship is definitely more than physical commitment or time spent together. It's a mental, spiritual, and heartfelt commitment two people make. It's responding, helping, understand, listening, paying attention too the person you're with,
asking questions, learning of one another, discovering and learning more every day:
not just a public show of affection,
or trying to spend time together. It's what you do with your heart when you are with that someone, and if you are in love:
what you are doing with that heart of yours and how you're responding is definitely felt by him. And if he didn't feel those things from you, All I can say is too work in that area in your next relationship or if you get back together with him.
Best wishes.
Hope I've helped.
-Ashley
]
Being in a relationship is more than public displays of affection, material things, "I love you"'s kissing and holding hands. Its more than that. Its that feeling you give that other person, the little things you do for them, and what they do for you. I've been in my relationship for a year now and I'm still learning myself, no one is the "perfect" girlfriend. Your main goal is to make your partner happy though, listen to their problems when everything isn't going right, cheer them up, and just always try your best to be there for them. When the time comes always be honest. If he need a reality check, give it to him. Sometimes us girlfriends have to help our guys by being straight up with them. Be thoughtful. When they are wrong, tell them. Acting like good girlfriend is all those things and more.
]
wow as far as im concerned u sound like an okay girlfriend too. im my boyfriends best friend thats how our relationship works i tell him everything share everything laugh and joke around we play fight like wrestling go to the mall sometimes go out to eat to the movies watch movies at home bake cookies and stuff like bonding. im sure you have done all of that im just showing examples. but everyone does it except we do do some stuff that people would find weird mind you i have been going out with him for almost 2 years so im pretty comfy with him. your guy was just an ass you so deserve more he doesnt really know what he wants yet and probally just doesnt want a girlfriend. if you really need to know i would ask i would be like fur real why did you break up with me, how was a i not a good grilfriend? what kind of girlfriend would you want. but you might have also asked those questions but really all you can do is move past this maybe stay friends with him and find someone else that will really love you!!!
]
More Questions: |