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When he comes back...
Alright. Here we go. Here's the info. I am a freshman in high school and 14 years old. It all started back in seventh grade. I basically fell into obsession with this one guy (We'll call him Mike). Well I liked him all of seventh grade but he barely knew I existed. Then eighth grade came around and he and I started getting to know each other. We talked ALL the time. Over IM, at school, hung out... and we were open with our liking each other. Thing was, he didn't want a girlfriend. And I totally understood that. We were in eighth grade and I felt that was pretty young and that we weren't quite mature enough for that yet. So I thought "Okay, just wait until high school, see if you still like him then..." Well… I wasn’t really expecting to hear the news I did halfway through eighth grade. He was going to move the summer before we went to high school and coming back AFTER freshman year. It sucked. There went any chance of us working at all and I told myself I would stop liking him. I told myself that I COULDN’T like him anymore. But I did. You can’t control your feelings and I continued to like him. And it was hard. All through the rest of eighth grade I knew he would be leaving but I still liked him and he still liked me. And we still refused to make a relationship… well he did. I still kind of wanted one but he continued to insist not to. Said he didn’t want to get involved and then have to leave but he still acted like a boyfriend to me. We were honestly a couple without the title. And then he left… He left right at the beginning of summer and he stopped talking to me… And that hurt because I thought maybe we could keep this going through just one year and then try again sophomore year. Yeah well he wouldn’t get on IM, he wouldn’t return calls or texts, he literally left me. And I can understand why… kind of. He didn’t want it to hurt anymore than it had, but he was coming back! We could have made it work. Anyway. I was stupid and vulnerable and I threw myself at a guy from a different school, and a grade above me. We’ll call him Jack. He was a total man-whore and a complete player, a very good player. He had me on a leash pretty much all summer. I fell for everything he said. And after about two months, when he told me he loved me, I believed him. To this day I still blame Mike for this. (I know, I know, I was being stupid and it’s not technically Mike’s fault but I still blame him) Jack was everything Mike wasn’t. He was smooth and hot and wild and he called me things like “sexy” and “gorgeous” and I loved it. I genuinely like Jack. Head over heels. But he hurt me. It was towards the end of the summer and Jack asked me to sneak out with him that night. (We snuck out a lot, which is something I would have NEVER done before I met Jack.) We were making out, and he asked me to have sex with him… I told him I wasn’t ready, that I am only fourteen (he was sixteen) and that I couldn’t. Bye-bye Jack. He broke up with me. Just because I wouldn’t have sex with him. And he told me the only reason he had bothered with me that long was because he liked making out with me and thought it would be easy to get in my pants. And unless this has happened to you, you can’t understand how it makes you feel. It makes you feel like shit. Like you just aren’t good enough to be worth sticking around for if you won’t put out. Like you’re personality must suck so much that sex is the only thing that could possibly make you mean something to someone. And it hurt so bad. I moved on though. I stopped talking to him even though for awhile he would call and ask me to sneak out with him. But I was smarter then, I knew what he wanted from me. Luckily I have awesome friends that helped me through it and didn’t let me go back to him. And for a few months I was just boy free, taking a break. Freshman year started, and I started to occasionally hear from Mike. But briefly, and just in text. Then I met Sam. Sam is a sophomore (grade above) and currently my boyfriend. He’s perfect. He’s not Mike where he seems to only want my personality and not like Jack who definitely only wanted my body… hahaha. He’s a gentleman and kind and funny and I honestly have never been happier. So of course this is perfect timing for Mike to decide he wants to make things work again. Yup he’s been trying to call me and visit… and I haven’t exactly told him about Sam yet… I don’t know how to tell him. And worst of all, I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll start liking him again. But I’m also angry. I’m angry that he just left me and ignored me for three months. He left me here and just let Jack have me. He hurt me and then let another guy do the same thing. He ignores me and now he wants to try again??? What the hell? And right now? After I’m so happy with Sam? I don’t know what to do. I CAN’T start liking him again. But I think I might… Help! I really just don’t want to get hurt again…
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
oNe... You need to STOP comparing everyone to Mike or Jack...every guy is different comparing them is just going to make you go crazy.
TwO... Depending how long you have been with Sam you should worry about Sam and have fun with Sam. As long as he is treating you well what does it matter?
ThReE... Tell Mike he's just a little too late and that you are dating someone right now. Its not your fault its his...don't worry about him though move on...there is a reason he went out of you life when he did. He's the one missing out!
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i have encountered all three types of the guys you describe here. at this time all you can do is tell mike about sam and ask him why he ignored you even if it hurts you to hear it you need ot know the real reason. if you do start to like him again then there is a reason for it. if you start to like him then obviously you like him more than you do sam and you have to do what makes you happy. in relationships all you need is patience :)
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haha.I can relate to you with jack! That is one of the most painful feelings you can go through when a guy only wants you for sex. The hardest part is having to hear it from them. It's like having someone stab you with a knife. Sam did you wrong by ignoring you for three months! That is a long ass time, and he better have a good explanation for it. I think that you should talk to him first about it. Ask him why he did it. Find out what happened. If he has a good enough reason, then you should consider giving him a chance.You like him!Plus, you guys never really had a chance because he moved and everything else that came with it. At least try it out and see how it goes. anyway...goodluck! I hope this helped :)
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