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what???
17/f
I know that who ever reads this is going to have the impression that i'm cheating and not being fair and that i'm not a good person... but i need help. so before you go on thinking that i'm a horrible person, listen to me and see if you can help me..
I have a boyfriend. he's my age and we've been going out for 5 months. I really like him. he makes me happy and its going well. well he introduced me to one of his other friends, who is 2 years older (19) and at first, i thought he was a cool guy and good friend. but after talking to him for a while, he told me that he likes me. and my reaction was like "wow.... holy crap what am i supposed to do?? i have a boyfriend...." and so after he told me he likes me, i kinda shook it off and was just like "whatever. lets be friends" but then... after a few weeks, i started to realize that i really like him... like a lot.. ahhhh i dont know how to describe it. we've hung out quite a few times and i have so much fun around him and i can be myself and he makes me feel special etc. after a few more weeks, he got the courage to tell me that he loves me. and then it hit me, i love him.. but then again.. i also really love my current boyfriend..
now, i've thought about this A LOT. and my decision is to stay with my current boyfriend because i love him waaay to much to just leave him for another guy. even if that means risking not to be with my true love. and i told *jason-(19)* that i wasn't going to leave my boyfriend for him. and he is perfectly fine with that and he told me he would wait for me. even if that meant after i graduated college or until i'm 40. he will still wait for me. and i know that some guys don't keep their promises, but he told this to my face and he stared into my eyes for such a long time, that seemed like forever.
so thats that. i'm staying with my bf and *jason* is going to wait for me. meanwhile, jason and i are still hanging out frequently. and yes, it is hanging out. but occasionally there are a few kisses here and there between me and jason. i know that's really bad... but i can't help it. i'm in love with him.
another question i have is- whenever jason and i kiss, i have this feeling. its a sickening feeling in my stomach and it almost feels like i have to throw up. i have NO idea what this feeling is. i've NEVER had it before... i dont know if thats a good feeling or bad feeling? its not like i feel this way because his kisses suck or something. his kisses are AMAZING. i love them!! so it can't be because they're gross or something. i think its either- A. love. or B. feeling guilty for kissing him behind my boyfriends back.
i don't know which one it is.. can anyone help me? also any advice you have for me? opinions? stories?
thank you.
and i know you're thinking, wow shes a horrible person because she's cheating... but i can't help it.
also, this doesn't happen very often... so don't get the impression that i'm a slut/skank/whore or anything. because i'm not.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are not a bad person, but the choices you are making are certainly not the smartest choices.
If you feel that you are in love with someone and you want to be with this other guy that you owe it too your boyfriend to be honest and tell him the truth about how you really feel. If you are kissing your boyfriend and you feel a sickening feeling than either you fell out of love or your feeling guilty. We can still have strong feelings for someone but not truly love them. Imagine how you would feel if this situation was reversed. If you want to be with "Jason" than be with him but do it the right way by telling your boyfriend that you have fell out of love. Dating your boyfriend when you have future plans to being with "Jason" is not only leading him on but as time goes by you will likely start feeling guilty and being in the relationship becomes a burden for you. Talk to your boyfriend
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Hold on tight! It is not our fault, it just happens, it does mean that your cheating on him, it just means that if you didn't do it, you'd be cheating on love. To help yourself make a list of all the things you love about each of them and then you can see who you really love. If its your boyfriend, then make Jason aware that you are taken and ask him just to be friends, nothing more, nothing less. If its Jason, then tell your boyfriend that your really sorry but you don't think it'll work out because jason has stolen your heart. If you cant decide then try, try again until you can choose, like you can write what you DON'T like about them and then compare results, but you can't keep this up forever. If you just can't choose at all and you don't do anything about it, then you will be cheating on both of them, but you can also just be friends with both of them, nothing more, nothing less.
Good Luck,
Hills Masson
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You're not a bad person, but the situation you're getting yourself in isn't the greatest and people WILL get hurt.
Firstly, you should break up with your boyfriend. You are seeing "Jason" and hooking up with him on occasion. You know that's cheating. and when you start to cheat, it's time to ditch the boyfriend - because you clearly aren't 100% happy with him.
You say you love both boys.. I reckon you're highly confused. You can't love 2 people in the same way - it just doesn't work like that. You either love your boyfriend dearly and would never hurt him.. or you love him as a person, but don't have the strongest feelings towards him you would like to.
How would you feel if he was doing this behind your back? Hurt? Angry? Disappointed? He will be feeling all those if he finds out. Which is why you either completely STOP seeing "Jason" - stop hanging out, stop kissing etc, or BREAK UP with your current boyfriend. You can't have both hunni.
and in regards to the feelings you have when you kiss "Jason", you're probably right - you know what you're doing is wrong and you're getting that horrible feeling in your stomach. I'm sure anyone with a heart and conscience would feel the same.
Take a long hard look at what you're doing here.. and really think about what you want. Write a list of pros and cons if you have to.. and follow your heart. but please, stop the cheating in the mean time, because if that gets out.. you'll have a million other problems on your shoulders.
Good luck and let me know what you want to do and how things turn out. x
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