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my best friend's friend
17/f. okay so my best friend and i are alike in every way except when it comes to boys. she has had her share of crushes and sometimes the guys like her back, but no major relationships. i have had a few relationships, one lasting over a year, and many hook ups, but am not at all promiscuous.
getting to the point- my friend (mary) has had a family friend (kyle) for the longest time. her whole family is friends with his whole family, and mary and kyles younger sister and brother are friends too. recently i have been hanging out a lot with kyle when mary does. he is really cool and we flirt a lot. i dont know if its just how he is, or something else, but i am beginning to be interested in him. yesterday we went and saw a movie with me, mary, kyle, and their little sibblings. it was fun but obviously i didnt get any alone time with him and mary was between us the whole time. i talked to mary about how alike kyle and i are and she agreed and we jokingly talked about kyle and i being together, so i know she wouldnt be mad if we dated. and last night i texted kyle a smiley face and we started talking about the movie and other stuff. i know im going skiing with mary and kyle and their families in jan so what can i do before them to like flirt with him but without being too extreme. also what can i do to take us to the next level? i think he wouldnt be too opposed to it because he flirts back
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My opinion is that i dont think you need to flirt i am sure you have pretty good qualities that he could easily see if you are someone hed like to have in his life. I think one of the first things you need to do is analyze if you really do like him, are in love with him, find him attractive or all of the above OR if its just a "flirt" if you do feel deep inside you that this is a person you would like to give the opportunity to grow and to learn and to love then You should really accept that this person is someone youd like to include in your life, and ask your friend if she has any feelings for him and why? or why not? it will be easier if your friend agrees with you...why? well you wouldnt want her 1. trying to stop you 2. trying to prevent a relationship between you and him and most important of all ruin your friendship. if she agrees and all looks good then she will give you time and to get to know him and the best part she knows him more than you so thats your advantage as to if he will be resposible or if hes just not ready for a girl in his life.
If she tells you she has feelings for him then you will have to accept that she may not see him as a "flirt" but rather is taking the time to make sure that shes not risking losing him as a friend. see it this other way ..would you like it if you had a long time friend that you didnt know how to say i am growing feelings for you but you wewre being cautious and a friend of yours just goes behind your back and takes him from you? real friends will always understand each other and respect is so important..i have mentioned before that i once let go of a job that i and a friend worked for but i ended up leaving the job so that he would have a better and easier life...hes my friend and as a friend i know he would have done the same for me...its good to have true friends i ended up going to work for
another company and made even more money than i did and more than he does but he respects me and i him and hes happy and so am i and i think its because we respect each other we dont compete.
So i think its a good idea to talk to your friend ask her first and if it goes well then tell her you find him interesting and that youd like to know if hed like to get to know you and maybe build a relationship. But what ever you do dont FLIRT you might end up looking bad not only to your friend but to him too. I hope this helps if it does not let me know :)
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Hmm... I think you need Mary to get you to the next level... If he doesn't make a move on his own and you make a move an it turns out he only likes you as a friend... then it will make skiing very uncomftrable. And yes, there are signs... but a lot of people like to flrit for fun, espeicaly with their friend's friends (me being one of them!)
If I were you I would tell Mary I think Kyle is cute. She would probably say something like "omg, you like Kyle?!?!" I would say "I don't know.... I just got out of a relationship" or "I don't know, I don't know him very well" and ask her about her opinion on the hypothetical situation of Kyle and I going out. If she seems to support it then ask her to find out for you what Kyle thinks about you. If Mary seems against then jsut pretend you are not interested. Say something like "I see, well I just thought he was cute" and change the subject and just get Kyle to give you his myspace and flirt there.
Another thing - do you have his myspace or facebook? Those are the best palces for casual flirting without any compromisation. And of course... keep text messaging him.
Good luck with Kyle,
~<~@
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