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Sex Advice --->
Okay so hi =)
I'm 16/f and I need some sex advice as the topic says.
My boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other (sort of) last month and I want to do it again BUT the right way this time. You see when we tried to have sex before, it didn't go in all the way. It kind of hurt but for the most part it was an uncomfortable feeling. Probably because I'm not used to a penis being in there I assume. My question is how can I make it more comfortable for us next time and more enjoyable? Any real help would be useful.
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I know you are probably not going to like what I have to say, but i'm just trying to be honest and frank.i think you guys should wait for two more years. Its such a risk even with condoms having sex at 16. They are not 100 percent safe you know. I have no business telling you when and when not to have sex, but i really think you should wait a while. :)...goodluck
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Before we discuss comfort I would be remiss if I did not address birth control and safe sex. Even though you and your boyfriend are or were virgins it is important that you use condoms. Condoms, when used properly, are a safe and reliable form of birth control as well as preventing transmission of most STD’. By getting in the habit of using condoms now, you will be forming a good habit for the future. Now that you have decided to become sexually active you should talk to your doctor about the best form of oral contraceptive for you. As I said condoms are a good form of birth control but they are not fool proof. If not worn properly they can leak and they have been known to break, so an oral contraceptive is appropriate.
Do I condone 16 year olds having sex? Let’s just say I prefer that if you are going to have sex at age 16 there is nothing as a parent I can do to prevent it. That being said I would prefer you have all the proper information so that you can prevent unwanted pregnancy and disease. If you were my daughter I would want you to come to me and tell me of your decision before hand so that I could make sure you had the proper knowledge and protection and where not be coerced into having sex before you where ready. Would I let you entertain boy sexually in your bedroom? I don’t think I was ever that liberal.
Being a male it is hard for me to say just what you will feel other than what my girl friends and wife have told me; which is the first few times they had sex was very uncomfortable. Now comfort has many definitions in this instance. There is the physical comfort of being penetrated and then there is the material comfort of the time and place of your love making. I doubt either you or your boyfriend have your parents consent to be sexually active; therefore your love making takes place at times and places when the chances of being caught are minimal but still possible. This adds unconscious tension to something that should be very loving and relaxing for both of you and for you the unconscious tightening of muscles, leading to some of the pain you are experiencing. As you grow more comfortable, and you will, you will learn to relax and enjoy yourself.
Suggestions: Find a place where you and your boyfriend are least likely to be discovered while you are having sex. This will remove some of the tension for both of you and allow you to relax and have longer and more enjoyable union. Second until you are more comfortable with being penetrated you should be on top; this is called the cowgirl position, this allows you to control the speed and depth of penetration. Your boyfriend may be resistant to this, ask him to try it as most men find this most enjoyable as it is a very voyeuristic position from which to watch you girlfriend as she please both you and herself. Last consider having a conversation with your mother and or your father about sex, sexual activity and the fact you have become sexually active. Contrary to popular belief we were all young once ourselves and have had the same experiences you are now having.
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A lot of foreplay before hand helps make things easier, and use lubricated condoms! Also, make sure you're in a comfortable position, even try being on top because you'll control the speed, and how deep it goes in!
Also, since it was your first time, it was uncomfortable, you get used to it more after a couple of times.
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