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Hot n Cold
So i've been dating this guy for about a year now. We broke up about 3 months ago, i didn't text him, call him nothing he tried reaching out to me but i told him we couldn't be friends. Finally about a month and a half later i decided i would try to be friends, we hung out and he told me the real reason why we broke up and how he wants to be with me after he gets his life in order. He's 22, has no career plan, no car, no licence, in about a month he'll be living back with his parents, doesn't have a college degree, has pretty much nothing. Thats why we broke up..he was sick of me being the person who takes care of him he wanted to date me when he was able to take care of me. anyways..the second time we hung out we hooked up. Then things starting going back to normal, we were always together stuff like that. Recently ive noticed hes been a little bit at distant ( i think its because he's sketchy about us acting like we're together when we're not it defeats the purpose of him spending time getting his life together) so..i asked him about it if he was feeling overwhelmed hanging out with me and he kinda freaked out saying "its so annoying when you ask me that if i didn't want to hang out with you i wouldn't" and i told him im sorry i just dont want him to feel like we're moving to fast and he said "i just dont know abut us acting like we're together yet but its not a big deal im not worried about it, its not a nusance if it was a big deal i would of brought it up to you" then he had to get out of my car and go to work...i called him on friday he told me he was watching a movie hed call me back, never did, didnt on saturday, and now its sunday and he texts me saying he's sorry he hasn't contacted me hes at a baseball game and he'll hit me up later. I never texted him back..and if he does hit me up later i don't think i will. It hurt so much the first time he ended things..and now hes playing this insecurity stuff like he doesn't know if we should act like we're together before we start dating again because itl ruin it if we do..idk what to do i need advice..it's truly breaking my heart and i just want to be happy again.
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It sounds like he could be exspeirencing guilt and a bit of depression. Why doesn't he have a job or a car? You didn't give any specific details. I don't know the whole story but if he isn't trying to go somewhere in life than maybe it is best for you two not be together for your behalf. If he is being lazy and you are taking care of him it is only a matter of time before it starts to drain you out. This guy is 22 years old and needs to start acting like it. If it is breaking your heart than you need to decide for yourself do you want to be with this guy that is going nowhere in life? be friends with him and prolong the pain? or cut contact and focus on your life? You can't let someone hold you back and exspecially someone who isn't doing anything for themselves and the truth is we can't help people who dont' help themselves first. Stop letting him play with your feelings, Move on with your life and meet other people not only is it healthier for you but in the end you will find happiness. I was in a relationship for a long time and I was always doing things for him and for awhile it didnt' bother me but within time it only made me stress out, and it drained me out and I couldn't take it anymore. My advice? I think you need to move on and focus on your life let this guy get his ass straighted out and don't let him hold you back because he sounds like a freeloader
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