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He doesn't know I'm a girl..
I'm a 20 year old transexual FtM[female to male]. I met this boy, whom I've seem to have fallen for. The only problem is, he thinks I'm a boy. Worst part is, he's gay. He likes me a lot, but I'm too scared to tell him the truth. He has no interest in females, what-so-ever. I don't know what to do. I know I need to tell him, but how do I do it? How do I tell him that I'm not that amazing guy he thinks I am? I'm worried. He hurts himself; cuts himself. He injured himself because he has a boyfriend and can't be with me. I'm afraid that he'll do a lot worse if I tell him I'm not a boy. What do I do?
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You deffinitely need to tell him. Think how betrayed he would feel if you let things go forward, and he became more attatched to you and then all of a sudden you "changed" to him. Not only would it be a shock but he would feel like you were hiding huge parts of your life from him. The most honest and right way to do this is to find a way to reveal it. If he really cares for you, he will accept it. It will hurt if he can't accept it, but you really couldn't have a long term relationship with him if he didn't know. One day he would find out.
I suggest dropping some hints first, to ease it. Find a quiet moment to tell him you have a secret you're afraid to tell, but you are trying hard to find the right time. Let him have a few guesses.
Wait a while. Find one of those times where you can have a heart to heart. Tell him how you love him for who he is, despite his problems, and hopes he can do the same. I suggest doing this after him and his boyfriend break up, it sounds like an added drama.
All you can do is tell him and hope for the best. If he doesn't accept it, then it was not meant to be. You need people in your life who love all of you, and there are those special people out there.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have to tell you this question is out of my experience for answering, other than the fact that yes you do need to tell him that you were born a girl and now you are a man.
I mean if you had the gender reassignment surgery then you are a high intensity transsexual under the Benjamin scale. (I did some research) If so you are fully a male person. If you have not had reassignment surgery then your friend probably will have a problem taking you for a male no matter what your feelings or how you explain it to him.
If you have had reassignment surgery I would think your friend might find it easier to accept you as a male then you might think. Recently the cable networks have done a lot of television on the subject of transgender and transsexuals which has brought the subject more out in the open. The more open a subject the easier it is for a person to recognize his or her feelings and deal with them. Whereas when a subject is hidden we do not have to deal with our felling on the subject.
You might also look on the web at www.PFLAG.org for more help.
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