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thinking about it...
okay hi i have a lot of questions so bare with me here. i'm 17/f. i don't have a boyfriend, but i'm basically 'with' this guy. we've been hooking up on and off since like february. so that's like 7 months. he's liked me on and off since like freshman year and i never really had any interest in him until last year. we would hook up on and off but i hooked up with a bunch of other guys this summer and didn't really like him or want to be tied down to anyone. (i liked other guys this summer too). anyways, he is the sweestest, cutest guy ever. he REALLY, and i mean REALLY cares about me. he honestly makes me feel like i'm the prettiest girl in the world. just the way he looks at me and kisses me. the last week of summer, i got really drunk and threw up all over at a party i was at and he sat behind me for like 2 hours while i threw up and then carried me to his car and made sure i got to my friends house safely and then came over to my house the next day to make sure i was okay. and i had hooked up with another guy that night. and he knew it. not that i did anything wrong because we aren't going out but since he likes me he obviously doesn't like it when i hook up with anyone else. i know that most of my friends wouldn't do that for me. anyways, the past few weeks i haven't hooked up with anyone else but him. and i told him i don't want to. and he doesn't want to either. we're like basically going out but we aren't. i'm scared to. because every time i start going out with a guy i don't like him anymore. so i don't know how to prevent that from happening again. i just don't like feeling tied down. but i really like him a lot. maybe even love him. and i don't just throw that word around. i want to go out with him but i'm scared i'll stop liking him. and also i have problems with relationships because i have huge problems showing someone i like them especially around other people. i fight with this guy a lot about dumb things. he gets mad at me a lot. but we always make up. we joke that if we were married we would have angry make up sex every night. that kinda fighting haha. nothing huge. but anyways i've been thinking about having sex with him because we've done pretty much everything but that and i feel like i'm ready and i know i can trust him. i know he likes me a lot. but i don't want to do it yet. maybe in a month or two. i want to be going out with him before we have sex but i feel like if i start going out with him i won't wanna have sex with him anymore. it's complicated. i'm not very scared of getting emotionally attached to him because i know he would like that haha. like he really likes me a lot. and that would probably help our relationship anyways. but what if i don't like it? or what if he doesn't? and does it hurt? i'm REALLY tight. like 2 fingers hurt. pretty bad. so i'm not really sure what to do about that because his penis is pretty big. help?
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I just want to say that you are young and you are at the age where you can make a lot of huge decisions now that you can end up regreting later. Most people do not end up marrying their high school sweetheart. I want to encourage you to wait to have sex until you are married. I know that not everyone agrees with this especially in this society, but think about it. Would you regret waiting once you are married and you can tell him you have saved all of your love for him? Probably not. But, you very well could end up regreting having sex too early and with the wrong person. I had boyfriends in highschool and never slept with them. I just enjoyed hanging out with them, kissing, and the little romantic things we did for each other. I think that you should do the same. I am a Christian and that is why I have the beliefs that I do. I have not regreted my decisions. I hope this helps.
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I think you should just go out with him. You say that you have done pretty much everything except sex with him so I don't see why it should be a problem for you two to start dating. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out - but you never know until you try. He obviously cares about you. Carry on with what you are doing now, and eventually lead to dating and wait until you are ready to have sex with him.
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